No explanation yet
I’m starting to think that maybe I am NOT stuck in a slump (mood wise), but am really just a kind of negative person. Because if I was just stuck in a slump, wouldn’t all of those negative thoughts have left my head by now?
At the beginning of each week, I have to repeat little mantras in my head: Smile, Don’t swear so much, Don’t say that out loud, Be nice, DON’T GOSSIP, Don’t judge people… I have to actually, mentally remind myself not to do these things.
And the thing is, I FEEL like I’m a really happy person. I like my work, I love my husband and family, I get to do a lot of fun activities… so, why why why do I have all these sarcastic, mean thoughts in my head?
I’m not sure how to get rid of them, but I am going to TRY not to say them out loud. Because I am embarrassing myself, and probably Steven as well.
And maybe this is just a human characteristic, but it’s one I don’t want.
Themocracy
We are too much alike! I “try” to be positive, but every where I look, that little devil (Evil Dave??), tells me something negative to think. I’m sure Beth would love it if I could be more optimistic. Like you, I am a happy person (love work, wife, family, etc.), it’s just a natural tendency to be negative. Perhaps it’s the influence of the Sith seeping in. Maybe one day, I’ll be Emperor of the Empire…
Kevin – I think you described what I was trying to say perfectly. It makes me feel better to know I am not alone… but at the same time… we must leave the dark side of the force! LOL!
I find swearing makes it easier to get through the week.
You’re not alone… I’m working on shutting up too. 😉
Holy crap! I could have written this post – that is my problem to a tee! I am generally a really nice person with very good manners, but if someone were to be able to hear my thoughts they would think I was the biggest bitch there was! My main issue is when I am driving – I have the worst road rage! I had to stop when my daughter was younger – imagine a 5 year old with road rage – hysterical! But when I am alone driving the claws come out!! But, here is where we differ….I don’t think I want to work on this problem. Maybe because I have so many other problems that this is the least of my worries or because it’s not hurting anyone (I keep my thoughts to myself) and it makes me giggle!
I completely understand how you feel. Sometimes it’s like I have to really, really try to come off as nice, patient, understanding – qualities I see in other people all the time (ANDREW) but seem to be lacking in me. Most of what I see around me on any given day disgusts me (the general human stupidity), and most of the time I end up ranting about something or saying something horrible or making fun of someone, and I really don’t want to be that way – I don’t want my first reactions or thought process to always be so negative. And I’m almost totally happy with my life (school, family, boyfriend, pets, job), so I don’t exactly know where it comes from. I know that I have come to just not expect much from people in general, and I don’t know if it’s because I’ve let myself get too cynical or I watch too much news or what. I try to keep reminding myself that for every a-hole I see or hear about, I know at least one friend or friend of a friend that is a really good person, so hopefully things balance out – or that’s what I try to tell myself. 🙂
kapgar – I think it just makes me sound trashy 🙁 Well, when I cuss as much as I do now.
Kyra – Yeah. “Shutting Up.” That really is it. I just need to think before I talk.
Amy – I think if I drove to work, this problem would be a lot bigger than it is. 😉 And I do only feel like I need to work on it because I let things slip from time to time… and I feel stupid. 🙁
Megan – I think the amount of what I perceive as stupid people only makes this worse for me. Small small things that other people do pisses me off. And then it just builds and builds upon that. I feel like I should just ignore it, but then won’t I just be turning a blind eye (and becoming apathetic)? Maybe I should remind myself of the better people I know, like you are. P.S. (Andrew? Nice? LOL)
That’s wild. I’ve thought I’ve grown into a negative person over the last 5 years, because I complain about more stuff than I used to and tend to think more pessimistically than previously. But then I realized mine is age-induced. Since I turned 40, I’ve melded into a syndrome of expecting things a certain way. I’ve tried to make a conscious effort to change and have made some minor progress, but it’s still there. But I still find time to enjoy a lot of things in life and there’s many things that don’t get complaints, so I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m ok, so long as I don’t get more crotchety as the years go on.
martymankins – You know, accepting change is probably something MOST people need to work on, including me. It’s part of the bigger whole of accepting how other people affect your life… which is part of my problem. Anyway… I think the solution is to find enjoyment in everyday life, just like you are 🙂