Unfair expectations, unfair reactions [13]Comments on: http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/2009/10/19/unfair-expectations-unfair-reactions/ Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Wed, 15 Feb 2012 01:44:11 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Salwa http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/2009/10/19/unfair-expectations-unfair-reactions/#comment-13560 Salwa Wed, 21 Oct 2009 17:56:08 +0000 http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/?p=5219#comment-13560 I think that's pretty natural. Each relationship is unique, so it makes sense to have slightly varying expectations for each person. I think as long as it isn't completely extreme, or you're not allowing anyone to walk all over you/treat you poorly, it's fine :) .-= Author's last blog post... <a href="http://supersalwa.blogspot.com/2009/10/guest-author.html" rel="nofollow">Guest Author</a> =-. I think that’s pretty natural. Each relationship is unique, so it makes sense to have slightly varying expectations for each person. I think as long as it isn’t completely extreme, or you’re not allowing anyone to walk all over you/treat you poorly, it’s fine :)
.-= Author’s last blog post… Guest Author =-.

]]> By: kapgar http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/2009/10/19/unfair-expectations-unfair-reactions/#comment-13531 kapgar Tue, 20 Oct 2009 11:29:50 +0000 http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/?p=5219#comment-13531 I know exactly what you're talking about and, for me anyway, it stems back to my family. My mom had no problem getting mad at someone in her family for something that they did wrong, but if someone on the outside did the exact same thing or worse, she would only fume about it in private. I think it's nearly impossible to hold people to the same set of standards across the board. It could be something like a familial relationship or perceived authority status or just personal favoritism that keeps you from treating everyone the same. It's just kinda how it is. I did interpret what you were talking about correctly, right? .-= Author's last blog post... <a href="http://www.kapgar.com/my_weblog/2009/10/i-know-just-just-what-you-are.html" rel="nofollow">I know just, just what you are...</a> =-. I know exactly what you’re talking about and, for me anyway, it stems back to my family. My mom had no problem getting mad at someone in her family for something that they did wrong, but if someone on the outside did the exact same thing or worse, she would only fume about it in private. I think it’s nearly impossible to hold people to the same set of standards across the board. It could be something like a familial relationship or perceived authority status or just personal favoritism that keeps you from treating everyone the same. It’s just kinda how it is.

I did interpret what you were talking about correctly, right?
.-= Author’s last blog post… I know just, just what you are… =-.

]]> By: Holly http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/2009/10/19/unfair-expectations-unfair-reactions/#comment-13519 Holly Tue, 20 Oct 2009 02:42:36 +0000 http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/?p=5219#comment-13519 Do you and I have the same mom? I know EXACTLY what you're saying! I have a girl friend I refer to as "the backer-outer" (not grammatically correct, but it fits). She is always cancelling plans, and I really don't think she's lying because it's always something huge: car accident, grandma in the hospital, kidney stones). It used to bother me, but I've accepted it now. I guess this just really makes me think....what do people expect out of me? I know it's not always a bright, sunny disposition. :-) .-= Author's last blog post... <a href="http://thebalancebroad.wordpress.com/2009/10/19/chilly-chili-monday/" rel="nofollow">Chilly Chili Monday</a> =-. Do you and I have the same mom?

I know EXACTLY what you’re saying! I have a girl friend I refer to as “the backer-outer” (not grammatically correct, but it fits). She is always cancelling plans, and I really don’t think she’s lying because it’s always something huge: car accident, grandma in the hospital, kidney stones). It used to bother me, but I’ve accepted it now.

I guess this just really makes me think….what do people expect out of me? I know it’s not always a bright, sunny disposition. :-)
.-= Author’s last blog post… Chilly Chili Monday =-.

]]> By: diane http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/2009/10/19/unfair-expectations-unfair-reactions/#comment-13517 diane Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:30:09 +0000 http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/?p=5219#comment-13517 It's funny that you mention this. Over the weekend I connected with an old friend of mine I hadn't talked to in a very long time, in part because her need for drama in the past and general flakiness drove me a little crazy. But, this time I was sort of able to categorize her in my mind as "A fun friend to go out with once in awhile" and it sort of put all my expectations by the wayside. Which was refreshing. And we DID have fun going out. I think I need to do that more often with people. :) It’s funny that you mention this. Over the weekend I connected with an old friend of mine I hadn’t talked to in a very long time, in part because her need for drama in the past and general flakiness drove me a little crazy.
But, this time I was sort of able to categorize her in my mind as “A fun friend to go out with once in awhile” and it sort of put all my expectations by the wayside. Which was refreshing. And we DID have fun going out. I think I need to do that more often with people. :)

]]> By: Jen http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/2009/10/19/unfair-expectations-unfair-reactions/#comment-13516 Jen Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:30:08 +0000 http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/?p=5219#comment-13516 P.S. Love the new picture -- is Data getting ready to go for a Sunday drive? .-= Author's last blog post... <a href="http://yawwblog.blogspot.com/2009/10/swim-update.html" rel="nofollow">Swim update</a> =-. P.S. Love the new picture — is Data getting ready to go for a Sunday drive?
.-= Author’s last blog post… Swim update =-.

]]> By: Jen http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/2009/10/19/unfair-expectations-unfair-reactions/#comment-13515 Jen Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:26:07 +0000 http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/?p=5219#comment-13515 I definitely think it's natural to treat people on a case-by-case basis. Just like in "Meet the Parents," a lot depends on whether a person is in the Inner Circle or not. There are people who try to be buddy-buddy with me when they're not really my close friends, and I get all prickly. "Seriously, we're not close enough for you to joke like that." There are also people that we sort of write off as screwups, and we expect them to screw up and we don't get too upset about it. That is definitely not a compliment! So if the situation you're upset about is someone expecting more from you than another person of similar rank, I think maybe you should feel good about that. .-= Author's last blog post... <a href="http://yawwblog.blogspot.com/2009/10/swim-update.html" rel="nofollow">Swim update</a> =-. I definitely think it’s natural to treat people on a case-by-case basis. Just like in “Meet the Parents,” a lot depends on whether a person is in the Inner Circle or not. There are people who try to be buddy-buddy with me when they’re not really my close friends, and I get all prickly. “Seriously, we’re not close enough for you to joke like that.”

There are also people that we sort of write off as screwups, and we expect them to screw up and we don’t get too upset about it. That is definitely not a compliment! So if the situation you’re upset about is someone expecting more from you than another person of similar rank, I think maybe you should feel good about that.
.-= Author’s last blog post… Swim update =-.

]]> By: sizzle http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/2009/10/19/unfair-expectations-unfair-reactions/#comment-13514 sizzle Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:00:45 +0000 http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/?p=5219#comment-13514 I don't have the same expectations for everyone. I have some fundamental ones- like don't be a douchebag and hold the door- but overall I don't treat everyone the same. It can work for or against a person, that is for sure! .-= Author's last blog post... <a href="http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2009/10/19/fit/" rel="nofollow">Fit</a> =-. I don’t have the same expectations for everyone. I have some fundamental ones- like don’t be a douchebag and hold the door- but overall I don’t treat everyone the same. It can work for or against a person, that is for sure!
.-= Author’s last blog post… Fit =-.

]]> By: Julia http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/2009/10/19/unfair-expectations-unfair-reactions/#comment-13513 Julia Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:14:07 +0000 http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/?p=5219#comment-13513 I love how contemplative your posts are making me! I definitely expect certain things from certain people and get thrown when they change it up. There are things that the people I love do that I let them get away with because I love them, but if someone else were to do the same, I would get upset with them. I think it would be a lonely place if we didn't do these things, because otherwise there would be a reason to stop talking to a lot of people. Heck I probably wouldn't be friends with myself anymore! .-= Author's last blog post... <a href="http://joggingmymemory.com/blog/julia/2009/10/birthday-recap/" rel="nofollow">Birthday Recap</a> =-. I love how contemplative your posts are making me!
I definitely expect certain things from certain people and get thrown when they change it up.
There are things that the people I love do that I let them get away with because I love them, but if someone else were to do the same, I would get upset with them.
I think it would be a lonely place if we didn’t do these things, because otherwise there would be a reason to stop talking to a lot of people. Heck I probably wouldn’t be friends with myself anymore!
.-= Author’s last blog post… Birthday Recap =-.

]]> By: Gina (Mannyed) http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/2009/10/19/unfair-expectations-unfair-reactions/#comment-13512 Gina (Mannyed) Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:50:21 +0000 http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/?p=5219#comment-13512 My mom and I had a similar conversation about this on Saturday in reference to my brother. My twin can get away with letting himself in our house, taking our food, or whatever silly thing he does. But if someone else were to try something like that they would get a serious smack down. My bro can do no wrong in my eyes, and if he does get to me, the annoyance doesn't last too long. My mom and I had a similar conversation about this on Saturday in reference to my brother. My twin can get away with letting himself in our house, taking our food, or whatever silly thing he does. But if someone else were to try something like that they would get a serious smack down. My bro can do no wrong in my eyes, and if he does get to me, the annoyance doesn’t last too long.

]]> By: Mica http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/2009/10/19/unfair-expectations-unfair-reactions/#comment-13511 Mica Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:36:01 +0000 http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/?p=5219#comment-13511 I'm a pretty unreasonable person, so it comes as no surprise to me that I do this. I also put up with a lot of people's crap (especially if it's a good friend) whereas I won't listen to other people's whining for very long. I think it all boils down to how you evaluate and interact with the world around you, as stupid-philosophical crappy as that sounds. I'm much more willing to put up with one person's faults if I have something invested in the relationship, perhaps because I know that if it really started to bug me, I could say something nicely about it. And I'm basically just a hypocrite. .-= Author's last blog post... <a href="http://micapie.blogspot.com/2009/10/aggressive-xt-day-3.html" rel="nofollow">Aggressive XT: Day 3</a> =-. I’m a pretty unreasonable person, so it comes as no surprise to me that I do this. I also put up with a lot of people’s crap (especially if it’s a good friend) whereas I won’t listen to other people’s whining for very long.

I think it all boils down to how you evaluate and interact with the world around you, as stupid-philosophical crappy as that sounds. I’m much more willing to put up with one person’s faults if I have something invested in the relationship, perhaps because I know that if it really started to bug me, I could say something nicely about it.

And I’m basically just a hypocrite.
.-= Author’s last blog post… Aggressive XT: Day 3 =-.

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