As for going to see a therapist, I have. The biggest part of getting help when you need it is to want to get help. It’s not a bad thing to go to someone that knows how to discuss issues and bring up solutions you may not have thought of before.

The person I met with on several visits helped point out some issues that I thought I could work out myself. Turns out, there were some things I wasn’t seeing that she could after I revealed a few details. It really did help a lot at a time when I needed it.

You bring up such a good point with warning against “continual talk” about things. I know I have friends who bitch about the same (non life-threatening stuff) over and over and I can barely take that. It would be draining to have a friendship with someone who had really deep problems all the time. That sounds shallow, but I think you understand. And I don’t like it when people always talk bad about mutual friends. As much as you try not to let it affect your opinion of that person, it still does, a bit!

I am happy to hear that laws are going into affect to include mental health in health insurance. The more acceptable it is there, the more acceptable it will be in the general public!

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!

i totally agree with your take on therapy! it’s a shame that you had a lousy experience with a therapist when you were in college, and it’s so true, if you don’t feel a connection then it just won’t work. i often think “how lame that i have to pay someone to listen to me, shouldn’t i just have friends like normal people?” but i think your jillian michaels quote totally nails it. friends should definitely play a big role in your life, but there are also certain things that shouldn’t be “dumped” on people who are not equipped to handle it. the same way that if a friend came to you with a SERIOUS problem that you simply can’t help her with (and not for lack of wanting/trying) then it would only make sense for her to see a professional. there’s gotta be a balance, i think a lot of people become too dependent on their therapists and then never learn to stand on their own two feet, or how to lean on (unpaid)friends when need be!

I would discuss things with my therapist that I felt too bad discussing with friends/family – I always feel like I’m whining or complaining to them. But with him, he helped me see things differently. He helped me recognize my way of thinking in different situations, and I still use that today. I’m happy for him (but sad for me) because he got a book deal and now he charges over $300 (no insurance) for 45 minutes. Boo. But I miss him – is that weird??

-Friends are wonderful (and mean the world to me)…and yes, best friends are precious and you can (and should be able) to talk to them about anything; HOWEVER, depending on the the topic at hand for discussion, continual talk about different matters CAN take a toll on a friendship. If your friend feels like everytime you talk you’re talking about how depressed you are (which they obviously care about and they care about you), it can begin to take a toll on your friendship, and you don’t want your depression to affect some of the most important aspects of your life — friendships. As mentioned, depending on the severity of your troubles (i.e. depression, anxiety, marital issues, etc.) the more time it could take to address it, so you’d want to consider spending that time working on it with someone who you do not have an invested friendship with because you have nothing at stake of affecting. Did I state that in a way that even makes sense? HA HA!

-VERY IMPORTANT: As a few people have elluded too, counselors are not going to know the people in your life who might come up in discussion during your sessions. This allows you the best setting to feel as comfortable as can be telling your true feelings on the situation. For instance, sure, a best friend should love you whether you go off about how a mutual friend of y’alls really ticked you off; however, at the same time, your feelings about that mutual friend will always somewhat “be there” in your best friend’s mind from that day forward. With that being the case, anytime your friend sees that person they can always remember how you got so upset with them that one time, thus it could influence your best friend. Does that make sense? Talking to a counselor about people who they don’t know who they are, should allow for complete freedom to feel as if you can express your true feelings without the thought of worrying how it might influence the counselors view of the person. They don’t know the person, so it doesn’t matter.

-It really does just come down to the connection you have with your counselor. I’m a counselor, but I can TOTALLY agree with the comment earlier that mentioned that there are some TERRIBLE counselors out there — AMEN! HA! I’ve gone through classes in the past with collegues that I was thinking, oh my gosh, I would not want to be in therapy with that person…HA! But at the same time, there ARE some GREAT counselors out there.

-I too agree that I wish counseling could be more affordable, as more people need it than can afford it. Plus, it would help if it were more affordable so individuals wouldn’t feel so bad switching around to find a good counselor fit for them personally. Also, recently, like a year ago I think it was (can’t remember if it was Bush at the end of his term, or Obama at the very beginning of his term), but one of the Presidents passed some law stating that employers insurance policies had to include comparable mental health coverage to their physical health coverage. Because of this, mental health coverage is becoming more and more available (though it of course isn’t completely free even with the insurance coverage…and since it is typically including more sessions than say a doctor’s visit, it can add up in cost quickly).

-In the end, I am appreciative of your willingness to to opening discuss this topic. It really shouldn’t be something people are “afraid” to talk about, as like what many of you said, it should be utilized as commonly as physical health help is used. It’s sad that the stigma of mental health is still what it is today, but I believe we’ve made pretty big strives over the past 10 years or so to say it isn’t as “bad” or “wrong” as it used to be viewed.

On another note: I still follow your blog, though I haven’t gotten around to keeping up my blog anymore. Sad day. Somedays I think to myself, I’ve gotta start writing again…but then I don’t…HA! I really liked your Wheat Thins post the other day, and thought seriously about making them, but I don’t have a rolling pin…HA! I need to get one! Keep writing, I love following it! Thanks!