Two Mondays ago, I mentioned that we cut back on spending in 2009, and Chez Julie asked me to share some of my tips. What a great idea!

I have a lot of tips and I bet commenters will too – so don’t feel bad if you can’t read them all – PLEASE SHARE your ideas!

I broke my tips into three categories: Shopping, Entertainment and General. Click “more” to read (skim, really) on.

Shopping Tips for Reducing Spending:

• First things first – cut out unnecessary luxuries - for us, this was bottled water. We used to use one new bottle of water a day, and we started using reusable water bottles instead. Better on the pocketbook AND environment! For other people, this may include something like cutting back on the daily Starbucks and making coffee at home, or buying soda in bulk instead of from a vending machine.
• Figure out where to buy the most economical necessities – we started shopping more at ALDI. We used to do all of our shopping at Super Target. I think we save at least $50 a week by shopping at ALDI. And if you have one of those stores where you have to have a “club card” to get the items at a discounted price, you are probably not getting the best deal overall. We have Dominick’s, Meier and Jewell Osco out here, but have compared prices and they are more expensive on everything.
• Try the “off brand,” it’s probably less costly – related to the last tip. We thought we would hate the ALDI “off brand” food, but it is fine! We mostly buy produce there anyway.
• Buy in bulk when it’s a great sale – when we see an item we purchase regularly on a heavy discount, we buy it in bulk, saving us money (and time) in the long run.
• Use coupons and watch for good deals – I like to use coupons.com to see if any of the things we buy are on sale at Target before we go there. We also look at the ads to watch for items to go on sale. And, I am not sure if other stores do this, but sometimes Target will have a deal that if you buy 2 or 3 of an item they will give you a $5 giftcard. In December, we saw that the paper towels we like were on sale for $10 each (normally $15). If you bought two you got the $5 giftcard. Score!

Entertainment Tips for Reducing Spending:

• Instead of meeting friends for dinner, host dinner in your home
• When meeting friends for lunch, bring your own – my friends know I do this ALL THE TIME. You save money, eat a healthier lunch, and still get to chat!
• Look for coupons for things you like to do – Steven and I never go bowling unless we have a coupon. If you sign up at Brunswick, you get coupons once or twice a month. Instead of paying $5 a game, we pay $1.29!
• Use Giftcards – ask for giftcards for birthdays and holidays if you can! At my office, we have a rewards program, and I use it to get movie giftcards.
• Make small sacrifices in quality to get something for less – we found a theater that sells $4 tickets! It is not as nice as a normal theater, but it saves us about $20 a trip!
• Use Netflix instead of Pay-Per-View or going to the movies – if you watch a lot of movies like we do, Netflix is VERY economical!
• Stop paying to run races - look for those you can run based on a donation, or just run for fun (this one was hard).
• Volunteer – it can be fun
• Look for free events – watch for speakers at your library or find a website like Explore Chicago (but local for your area) that showcases events (both free and not free).
• Visit local parks/forest preserves for fun – we have a massive forest preserve system out here, and there is so much to do!
• Take classes at a community center instead of at a gym
• Use the office gym, instead of paying for a separate membership – if you can, of course.
• Go to the library instead of buying new books (or borrow from a friend!)
• Choose a vacation location somewhere where you can stay with friends or family
• Travel in the off-season
• TRY NEW THINGS AT HOME! - we love cooking and trying new things at home… I think we like it better than eating out!

General Tips for Reducing Spending:

• See if you can cut back with your bills – we looked into our Verizon bill to see if it made sense to switch to a smaller plan. Ironically, we found out we were on a great plan that is grandfathered in and we would be screwing ourselves if we changed it. Ha ha. We tried!
• Stop using credit cards – only use them in an emergency.
• Pay off higher interest bills first
• Develop a monthly budget and stick to it – it will help to see where you are actually spending your money!
• Save money by working from home – this may not be an option for everyone, but since Steven works from home, we are saving money on gas, insurance and I-PASS. In 2011, I will be allowed to work from home one day a week and this should help a tiny bit (my work already pays for my transportation to work).
• Look into pre-tax pay deductions at work – some offices offer programs where you can take money out of your paycheck pre-taxes and use it for transportation or hospital bills.

And I believe you should  SPLURGE A LITTLE BIT and treat yourself everyone once in awhile! To stay sane!

What do you do to make your loved one’s birthday special?

On my train ride into the office, I got off quite a few stops early to go to Steven’s favorite bakery (Deerfields) and pick up some of his favorite donuts for him (yes, the same donuts last year’s donut tower was made out of)! When I got off the train, the conductor said “Leaving so early?” When I told him I was going to the bakery, he said “Deerfields? I LOVE that place! I would hold the train for you if I could.” Ha. What a nice guy. I wish he could have held the train for me! Luckily, the bakery is right by the station, so I walked there (in the snow) and back and caught the next train. I made sure to pick up donuts for two of my coworkers too!

Steven picked me up after work, and we went to Red Robin for dinner. Red Robin is actually my favorite restaurant, but Steven wanted to go there since we hadn’t been for awhile. I love it because they have two different kinds of veggie burgers and BOTTOMLESS Vegan Steak Fries! Of course, the veggie burgers aren’t vegan, so I get the Red’s Rice Bowl without the fried noodles on top. I still love going there because I think it is great that they cater to so many diets. They even have a great tool online for calculating the calories in your meal.

Onion Rings

Red’s Rice Bowl (actually on a plate)

Whiskey River Boca Burger with Fries

Plus, the give you free ice cream on your birthday (after they sing you an obnoxious song of course)! You can’t beat that!

Steven opened his gifts before dinner. I gave him Pictionary, the same lego calendar I got Lauren (it’s so cool!), his favorite Christmas Tree Cakes, and a little monkey (we have an inside joke that he likes monkeys). A few days ago, I told Steven not to go in my closet because I had a small present in there for him that was not wrapped. So during dinner, I said, “Oh no! I just realized I left that unwrapped gift at home! You will have to open it later.” and acted all sad. But it was a trick (more below).

After dinner, we went bowling. Fun fact – we used to be on a league so we both have our own bowling balls and shoes.

I was a bit rusty – it’s been awhile! We bowled three games and Steven’s top score was 190 and mine was 132.

Steven had one of his donuts when we got home.

Is it salmon flavored?

The glorious inside of the donut

After he finished the donut, I gave him the “little gift” that was in my closet – which was really a HUGE gift that I could not have taken to the restaurant.

I got him the weight stand he wanted, and get this, I only paid a fraction of the price it was listed for on amazon! We have a reward program at work, and I used my points to get $80 worth of amazon gift cards to use towards his gift. Score! It felt good to get Steven something I know he really wanted AND needs!

The new weight stand (before, the weights just sat on the floor in this spot)

I hope Steven enjoyed his birthday – I know I enjoyed it!

What what your perfect birthday day be like?

I actually got mine this year- I got to spend the day on the river, relaxing, then eat vegan chocolate cupcakes and cake!

I decided my quiet day will have to be tomorrow (I have the day off) or this weekend. We have some fun activities planned – Farmers Market, baking cookies, running, maybe bowling – I should be able to find relaxation and calm!

I was trying to explain to Steven the other day that I think my new* job has made me more “vocal.” That’s not exactly the right word, but I’ll explain.

I am in more of a project manager position now. It’s not my title, but it’s what I do. I’ve been finding that I need to speak up a lot more lately, to keep things in the best interest for my company and our clients.

But I’ve found some side effects to my “vocality,” and I am not sure if they are positive or negative.

At work, I’ve been a bit short with a couple of people. I don’t want to go into much detail about that, but I feel like I should be nicer, and give people the benefit of the doubt… even when I feel like they really, REALLY have not earned it.

At home, I’ve been more “direct” when dealing with companies. I let the Nissan Customer Service department know exactly** what I thought of their service on Saturday. I told the Sun-Times I was canceling my subscription because they couldn’t get their act together. I argued with the dentist about why my bills are coming to my home in MY HUSBAND’S NAME when we don’t share insurance.

On the plus side, I feel good saying what I want to say and not playing any games. But I know I am coming off as a bitch***. And I don’t want to be the bitchy demanding customer, because Steven works with customers like that most days, and I see what it does to him.

But here’s the thing. I don’t want to waste any time. I feel more and more pressed for time EVERY day. I am struggling with it so much right now, and I think that has a lot to do with what I wrote about yesterday. So if I can cut through a lot of bullcrap by being direct and honest, why not do it?

I just need to sound sweet and nice. And – make it clear that I don’t want to be rude, impolite, or nasty. I just want to be direct and honest, and get to the point.

As a side note, there are a few personal relationships I have, where I wish I could be this direct and honest. Instead of playing their games.

I am really honest with my parents (and my husband, of course). I think about that a lot. They get the 100% version of me. Nothing’s fake. I tell it like I see it to them. I think I am too honest sometimes. But in my most important relationships, why not show myself exactly as I am? What would be the point of doing otherwise? Facades are too much upkeep and stress.

*Can I still call it new if I’ve been working there since 12/8/08?
**Yes, it felt good to tell them I went and bought an Infiniti after I left their showroom and crappy offer behind.
***Steven cofirmed this.

Then, for the next few days, I am in quite a bit of pain whenever I get up out of a chair, or sometimes even when I am just walking around. The pain never really goes away completely, because we go bowling almost every three days.

Everyone keeps telling me I need to stretch out before I play. Fine. I’ll stretch out. BUT HOW to I stretch out my hip area?! (No perverted suggestions – you know I’m talking to you!)

I imagine that if I got rid some of the extra weight I am carrying around it wouldn’t hurt so much. But what am I supposed to do in the meantime?

So far, everyone we’ve met has been really cool and fun. Until this week. The team we played was crabby and antisocial from the get-go. That’s fine with me, I am not there to screw around or be goofy, and if they don’t want to be friendly… whatever.

But I guess they made a few snide remarks to Steven about why we were winning. And they refused to sign the scoreboard at the end of the night (the captain signs from each team).

Bad sportsmanship is never cute, especially when you’re an adult.

Grow up.

Maybe posting a picture of this hilarious shirt will at least make you laugh.

I wish I could order one to arrive by Saturday for our “mini” company bowling party.

I “disconcur.”

Look at how much fun we are having!

(Okay, it is a BIT extreme that we took our bowling balls as carry-ons to Kansas City. And that I just got done spending an hour designing a bowling party invite for my firm. And that I am always asking family, friends, and people I don’t know if they want to play. But they have fun when they do, right? Right?!)

“Oh! What is it?”

“You have to wait until you get home tonight.”

“You turd.”

I love surprises. I looked forward to it all day. I was having a crappy day. I got home and my surprise was… a bag of bath goodies from Lush, the “fresh handmade cosmetics” store. YAY!!! Steven got me bath bombs and bath bars, for soaking in nice, long, hot baths. Which is just what I need to relax, because I have been such a cranky you-know-what lately. Especially to him. (Maybe that was the inspiration?)

What a sweetie. I’m still smiling.

Of course, this reminded me of another story. It’s story-time kids! Sick of it yet? Please tell me if I am repeating previous stories.

Last year I was flying to Denmark from O’Hare airport, and Steven decided to come have dinner with me before my flight took off. He did the same thing; called and said, “I have a surprise for you.”

I excitedly told a few of my classmates, “My fiance has a surprise for me! I wonder what it is!”

So the first thing I said to Steven when we sat down at the dinner table was “What’s my surprise? Where is it?!”

He opened up his briefcase and handed me…

… a calendar. From Chipotle. With pictures of burritos for each month.

Seriously.

I was so mean! I said “THIS is it?”

“Yeah,” was his reply. “We both love burritos so much, I bought one for each of us.”

I still feel bad for having such a mean reaction. Because it was a really sweet and thoughtful gift (that I used ALL year long), just not what I was expecting.

My friends asked me what Steven gave me when I got back from dinner. I pulled it out of my bag and handed it to them.

“Sweet! Where can I get one of these?!” Their reaction was genuine.

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Today’s Idiom: thumb’s down – signal of rejection (Roman emperors could condemn a gladiator who fought poorly by turning their thumbs down)

Steven gave my gutter ball a thumb’s down. Unfortunately, I didn’t do any better in the second frame.

You know how I can tell I’m getting better at bowling? I get pissed off when I throw a bad ball. Before I would just laugh about it.

Of course, I don’t get as “frustrated” as Steven does when he is doing poorly, but I’m working on it.

I worked and went to high school with this really annoying, know-it-all kid who thought he was better than me… and liked to bowl. He always talked about bowling at work. His high score, his new bowling ball, his bowling shirt, blah blah blah. Oh my gosh! I just wanted to punch him in the face. I think a lot of people did.

Poor kid.

So I always kind of thought that bowling was for geeky know-it-alls who didn’t like to associate with the rest of society, or really know how to have fun.

But Steven likes to bowl, and he’s not like that at all. And I actually enjoy bowling with him. And I get to look at his cute little butt when he gets up for his turn.

Anyway, I found out I was wrong about bowling. So… how did I end up with my own bowling ball?

Steven has wanted one for awhile, so I thought, “what the heck, if he is getting serious about it, I might as well give it a shot, so we can have something fun to do in common.”

But I honestly didn’t think a custom bowling ball would improve my game at all. For me, bowling is all about having fun, and not being too serious about the score. My high is usually somewhere between 40-60.

With this new ball though, all 3 of my games were over 100! Now, that isn’t much for someone who has been bowling for a long time, but for me, it’s a BIG deal. I felt like the new ball just glided off my hand, down the lane… beautifully.

Maybe that kid was so excited about bowling because it actually is that much fun? Or maybe I just had an “on” night…