Grazing gone wrong?

By , April 22, 2009 5:48 am

Even though I’ve been losing weight, I’ve still been struggling with some food issues. I forced myself to think about it and try to get to the root of the problem. And I think I actually began to figure a few things out.

I am afraid of hunger. I am afraid of being caught unprepared. I am afraid of the unplanned.

What does this mean? I worry about becoming hungry, I am scared I will be unprepared and have to eat something unplanned. I am afraid of the unknown. I hate being out of control.

So here’s what happens. I always have a ton of healthy snacks with me. I stick to my grazing plan and eat something almost every 2-3 hours, sometimes more frequently, especially at work. I never let myself feel hunger. I worry about fueling before a workout, so I always make sure I have something in my stomach. I try to prevent hunger.

It’s not a super big issue. The snacks are usually healthy, I never feel full to the point that my stomach hurts, and I’ve only had a few out of control moments (more the last few days).

But still – what’s the deal? Why am I not listening to my real hunger signals? I think I’ve lost touch with hunger, and it’s time to try to find it again.

Glamour photo gone wrong?

I think that this photo of Data requires a caption and submittal to icanhascheezburger… I just can’t come up with anything clever? Can you? (diane, I’m looking your way!)

image: Little pirate kitty Arrrg!

14 Responses to “Grazing gone wrong?”

  1. Sophia says:

    I hear ya. I’m the exact same way. I worry about being hungry, I freak out when my meals are not what I planned. but at the same time, I also worry about being too FULL. I can’t win either way! I’m really struggling to form a relaxed relationship with food, though.

  2. Mrs. Smith says:

    Ahhhhhh love this photo. I will be thinking hard about a caption. 🙂

  3. Mica says:

    Wow, Data looks INTENSE!

    I think what you’re feeling is completely normal. I know I’m a control freak, and that obsessiveness definitely extends into my running and my eating.

  4. hahahah love that picture!

  5. Susan says:

    I think what you’re going through is totally normal. You don’t want to be caught off guard, so you make sure you never get to that point. You’ll be back on track in no time, and as long as you’re not consuming giant bowls of ice cream to ward off hunger, it’ll be okay.

    I just saw the countdown to the Wisconsin Marathon/Half Marathon on the sidebar…SO SOON! Are you heading up there the night before?

  6. SoMi's Nilsa says:

    I’m right there with you. My biggest trouble started when I stopped training for marathons. I had trained myself to be exactly the way you are … always grazing … especially as I get ready to train. Once I stopped, my body didn’t need nearly as much calories, but yet it still craved the calories. Huge adjustment that I’m still getting used to. It’s hard to erase 5 years of marathon training … my hips, butt and thighs will second that!

  7. Jen says:

    Man, I could have written this post myself. I am 100% the same way. I’m an absolute control freak about my meals, and what I’m eating/when I’m eating always need to be planned ahead of time. If something disrupts the plan I made for myself, my brain seriously goes on the fritz and I wig out (which is when my eating gets out of control). I’m trying really hard lately to listen to my hunger more and be more chill about everything. I’m sure we’ll both learn to be better about that eventually. 🙂

  8. kilax says:

    Sophia – I am so awful about unplanned meals – like if my husband wants to cook a fun meal that I wasn’t planning on, I feel awful about eating it! Even though it doesn’t really matter that much. And I get anxiety when I eat out if I haven’t planned it. Sounds like we need to work on the same thing. Thanks for stopping by!

    Mrs. Smith – PLEASE! Let me know what you come up with!

    Mica – Ha ha, intense. Good word! I am a little bit obsessive with running too. Like, I HAVE to get my planned mileage in. I feel AWFUL if I don’t!

    Gina (Mannyed) – Thanks 😉 Hope Manny isn’t scared away!

    Susan – That is what I am doing – my big fear is feeling weak during a run (being caught off guard) and not being able to complete it. And pass out. Or something 😉 We are going to drive to Kenosha the day of – I think it will be less than an hour from our house in Round Lake. I saw that you are getting a hotel? Are you psyched?

    SoMi’s Nilsa – Steven and I were talking about that last night! I told him I was having a hard time eating more. He told me it’s okay for now… as long as we are running. But what if I have to stop?! I know I will have a hard time cutting back, like you did.

    Jen – I hope we do! I am exactly the same way – especially the part about having my mind go on the fritz. I feel better knowing I am not the only one!

  9. teeni says:

    Is Data eating grass? That’s what my cat does. As far as the eating thing, I’m always afraid I’m not going to find something healthy or vegan to eat when I’m just going through my day so I try to prepare lots of healthy snacks and mini-meals too. I almost feel like I’m obsessing so I need to get it in check. I don’t want my life to be spent worshipping food.

  10. marissa says:

    i get like that too. i think it’s normal in a way, at least for those who are health-conscious and don’t want to be caught starving than snack and bad, processed foods. it’s good to pre-plan and have tons of healthy snacks on hand.

  11. Ren says:

    Hunger is how I know I’m doing a good job on my diet. If I don’t feel hungry a few times during the day, I expect to weigh more the next morning.

  12. kilax says:

    teeni – He IS eating grass! As soon as we let him outside, he acts like he’s been STARVING and starts mowing down 😉 I am worried that I am becoming too obsessed and uptight too. It’s good to be prepared, but I don’t want to be the crazy lady who always has an apple and crackers in her bag!

    marissa – I think it is good too, as long as I am not worrying and obsessing over it! 😉

    Ren – That is kind of how I thought too. Or at least that I should feel hungry before I eat.

  13. kapgar says:

    “Count Dracoola gotz nuttin’ on me!”

  14. kilax says:

    kapgar – Hey! That’s a good one! HA HA HA! 😛 I will have to submit today or tomorrow!

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