Tone it down
Have you ever read a blog you felt had a particularly hostile/negative (pissed off?) tone? Did you keep reading it? Was it this blog? (I kid, I kid… I hope)
I’m not talking a random rant or “woe is me” post. We all have bad days (weeks? months?)!
I’m talking about the blogs where the person seems to find the negative in everything. There’s always something.
It’s odd this bothers me so much – I highly value honesty over a false illusion of it always being rainbows and unicorns.
But damn. Sometimes I’m just like, “Really?! Everything bothers you!”*
Then I can’t read the blog anymore (just like I can’t stand these peeps irl). I start to pick up on every, single, dang, little negative thing.
That seems unfair. Maybe I don’t “get” the blogger?
Maybe I don’t want to?
Of course, I was thinking about this in the whole “spot it, got it” respect. I’ve had people tell me I’m negative. I don’t think I am.
Yet, I wrote a post last night saying using the word “marathon” in a road distance that isn’t 26.2 miles bothers me. I have a race report coming saying I don’t think age group medals mean anything for me (but that it’s a lot of fun to get them!).
Those could been seen as negative turn off posts to others, whereas to me, I’m thinking I’m just starting a convo and there’s always a possibility my views could change.
And sometimes I wonder if what I think is sarcasm or me being funny (well, trying) comes off as negativity.
Hmm.
What’s the point of this post? Eh, just me saying negativity irks me. But dishonesty does more, so while I consciously try not to be negative, being honest always wins. Here, anyway.
Stay tuned for a post about being honest in social media versus fabricating the best version of your life.
Just kidding, I’m not going to write that post.**
Or maybe I will! It’s hard to get me to shut up.
*And I often honestly worry that the person is very unhappy with life.
**And that is the advantage (fun?) of social media, anyway!
Themocracy
I completely agree with you in terms on dishonestly. I feel that when someone is dishonest they are hiding a deeper issue than what’s on the surface. In social media honesty goes out the window because some people what to be perceived as funnier or smarter than someone else. I thoroughly enjoyed this post. 🙂
I am happy you liked it!
What? An AG group award doesn’t mean I’m the fastest in the land? This is harsh news on a Monday. Hahaha!
I think when negativity is constant, there’s something deeper going on inside that person. Doesn’t mean we have to enjoy reading it though.
Ahh! Better not come back and read the race report where I talk about why it doesn’t mean we are the fastest in the land! 😛
Yeah, that is definitely it. I wonder if feeling helpless is a reason I cut back on reading, too.
Whiners drive me nuts. I have one blog I know of that’s whiny and negative every single post. Always complaining about something. Usually it’s the weather. Dude….we can’t do anything about it. It’s summer. I also hate unicorns and rainbows though too. Too much energy drives me nuts. I know some people are just that way IRL but I am not so I can not put up with it all the time.
Ha ha ha. The weather thing cracks me up. When it’s all the time. And when everyone in my area is posting the same weather rant on FB. Yeah. It’s humid again. So what? LOL.
I would be interested to see which blogs you mean with too much energy. I tend to overdue the exclamation points. Does that count?
Sometimes I read those negative nancy bloggers solely for snark value. Whoops- did I just admit that?! But seriously- to complain about every single thing and say how their life is ho-hum compared to everyone else is a turnoff. I can’t read that stuff.
There’s a difference saying A marathon is 26.2 and not some wimpy distance and complaining about everything else. I’ll go read that post now- but that’s a legit talking point and worthy of discussion. Plus you are giving people the opportunity to have a side. But when a post is all negative there is no way to have a conversation other than- well gee hope your life gets better.
SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. Now. Or not. I think I prefer a good mix of negative and keeping it real. I’d much rather read rants than fluffy bull shit. Oops. Can I say that in a comment? I think the negativity, anyway, can be justified as long as it’s not constantly being down on one’s self (as I can be) and rather observing the ludicrous things around us – and there are many.
By the way, since I’m taking this rest thing way serious, here’s my comment on the mini marathon post: It goes to show just how dumb RnR is. I hate them and the hype, mostly the hype. The Indianapolis half that’s UBER popular is called a mini. What’s so mini about a 13.1 mile race? My legs don’t think it’s mini.
Mix, yes! And yes, swear away! Interesting on rants vs. fluff. Gah. Can I pick something in the middle? Just like… a real story about someone’s life? Why do we all have so many opinions we feel the need to share (myself included?!). Ha ha.
Why do you hate RnR? (I’ve never done one of their races, so, no opinion here). LOL! Yeah! HA! Quit using MINI in a race! All races can be hard on you and nothing mini about it!
Oh, RnR. I find them to be overrated and overpriced. They are too cool for me.
Ha! They probably don’t think they are too cool for you and would welcome your $$$. I like the music concept. I liked that at NYCM – lots and lots of bands!
I can’t deal with constant-complainers on any form of social media. I’m a pretty cheery person in general so I just don’t GET how someone could (or would choose to be?) that annoyed & pissed off all the time. I mean, I guess I probably annoy those types because I’m cheerful most of the time… so maybe they’re all sighing in annoyance and avoiding me on social media as well 😉
Ha! That is probably EXACTLY what they are doing. I consciously try to only post good stuff on Facebook and someone commented once “You are always so happy!” well, I don’t drag my drama out on there!
I’m all about honesty. If something sucks, I want people to say it sucks, not sugar coat it and pretend like everything is okay. However, if someone is constantly negative and refuses to see or discuss anything positive, in most situations, I’ll stop reading (blog) or listening. It’s just too much! I don’t want to hear someone constantly say how awful their job is, I get it, they don’t like their job and I’d much rather talk about something they enjoy.
I’d really enjoy a post on using social media to fabricate the best side of your life. I think that would be incredibly interesting! Especially because there’s a fine line between posting exciting things that you want to document vs. posting only good things so that people think your life is more fabulous than it really is. No pressure to write a post, just saying I’d find it interesting if you did :).
Exactly – when I wrote that I was thinking about the post I wrote about sponsored reviews or whatever and how fake all those reviews seem. Although, you know what? Sometimes you just CAN’T say if you had a crappy time at something, due to readers. I hate it when that happens. Sigh. So many things to consider with blogging.
Thanks! Maybe I will work on something at some point! I definitely post more of the good stuff that my silly little “issues” and… I honestly hope that DOES affect how people view me.
I am sometimes amused by some of the negativity… It depends on a lot of other factors too though (not sure what they are but I wouldn’t be able to read stuff written in too whiny of a tone).
Sorry. I’ll stop being such a negative nelly. 😉
No need to stop that, must make it so that my comments go through!
Some people just like attention- either negative or positive. Some people suck the life out of you. All three types make me click the exit button, or I start to wonder what deeper issue is going on and get too involved.
People are funny that way. I don’t understand why anyone likes to complain that much. Life’s short. Enjoy it!
Good point on sarcasm being mistaken as negativity. It can be hard to tell when you’re just reading the words.
I agree with the other poster who prefers honesty over fluff. I like to read about the struggles people encounter during their training and how they overcome them. I try to keep my blog a mix of good things and bad things regarding my training.
Honestly, people who are peppy and happy all the time kind of scare me and it makes me think they are not real. One can’t possibly be that happy all the time, right?
Oh yeah! Gotta keep it real with training. And I don’t think posting about how much a run sucked is being super negative… well. I guess it all depends on how it was written.
I think I do actually know people who seem to be that happy and peppy all the time… bizarre 😛
Why can’t people just shut-up, smile and be happy??
IKR? That is what I tell myself each morning when I look in the mirror! Along with “You’re Good Enough, You’re Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like You.”
There’s a person I follow on Twitter (who is sort of a friend IRL) who is the most negative person ever. I know that once I start taking her comments to heart, it’s time to get off social media!
I know of one running blogger who is so negative and snarky and arrogant and openly selfish. I read the blog for awhile because she does a ton of races, and sometimes it was helpful to read her reviews before signing up for some of those races myself. But it got to the point where I couldn’t take the constant complaining intermingled with self-pats-on-the-back for being such a great runner. So I finally just removed the blog from my reader list. With the thousands of blogs out there, no reason to read one that I don’t enjoy 100%!
Yep yep yep!
So funny you posted this. I keep feeling a bit put off by a blogger and their unhappiness. I am debating on deleting, but I am scared it is a phase and then will miss out on more positive entries, like when I first starting reading.
Uh! That is a tough spot to be in! What do you think you will do? Are you close enough you can ask if everything is ok? 🙂
Do you ever read Angry Runner? Looks like her blog is private now, but she’s still on Twitter and it’s pretty much the same stuff. But I assume she is over-the-top for the snark factor, and to combat some of the over-the-top “my life is perfect and I’m so healthy!” blogs that are out there. We are FB friends (and were LiveJournal friends going back to the year 2000, I think) and she is a bit more negative/snarky than most but she keeps it real which is refreshing in a newsfeed full of everyone’s filtered, perfect life. I haven’t met her in person though. I’m curious what she’s like in “real” life.
I haven’t! But… I like snark. And sarcasm! I am actually super duper snarky. So maybe I would have liked her blog if it’s not private anymore. Do you think you will ever meet up?
I can’t seem to explain the negativity I am talking about is different than snark. It’s just, yeah. Where something is always WRONG. They can’t laugh at a situation (and most often, it’s not even a “situation.”).
My “real life” friends say I am a Pollyanna on my blog. In real life I am more sarcastic, but I can’t figure out how to write sarcastic or NYer without declaring it to be so which defeats the purpose. I do not like constantly negative blogs, but I like honesty so there is definitely a balance to strike.
I like the real life vs social media post idea. I am visualizing those pics like “what I think I look like” “what my friends think” “what my mom thinks” “what FB thinks” 😉
Ooo, but sarcastic NYer is SO fun!
Oh gosh. That would be such a fun visual to make. Thanks for the great suggestion!
Let me know if you’d like me to contribute a few. I can make fun of myself pretty easily with that model!!
I will! 🙂
Jeeeeeeeeeeez Kim, tell me how you really feel about my blog. SORRRRRRRRY , no wonder you don’t want to hang out
That’s not why! You are just up WAAAAY too early for me 😛
Some people just thrive on crapping on everything. They want to be martyrs, they want everyone to pat them on the head and tell them life sucks. Just like Katie said, they only know how to get attention by being negative and down on everything. I have to stop reading those posts, though, because I can’t do anything, I can’t help, and I can only listen so much before I’m like is there ANYTHING good in your life? Seriously? It’s all horrible?
Although, in reference to the social media honesty, I had to stop posting almost anything on Facebook that could be construed as negative because my mom told Jason it made her sad to read that stuff. So, if I do post something negative I try to counter it with a positive outlook!
Oh! You know people like that too? 😛
Oh gosh! Why did your mom tell Jason that and not you? What was she talking about? I can see how a random negative post makes it seem like you are having a bad day! I have wondered that from time to time.
My mom tells me that I’m too negative. Once, she even made a rule that when I said something negative, I’d have to add two positive things about whatever I was complaining about.
I just read Erin’s comment above, and I think I see bits of myself in what she was saying about consistently negative people needing attention. (In general, I think I’m a very bad self-soother and overly rely on others instead of working stuff out for myself.) Maybe I’ll go seek out some positivity now!!
There are some complainer blogs that I stopped reading because it gets old after a while. Nothing much in the way of positive, which would be nice every once in a while.