Exercising Elitism
This postcard on the 04/05 postsecret really upset me.
The text reads: I feel superior when my machine is set at a faster pace.
It seems like I keep running into the topic of “exercising elitism.” Okay, I am not sure if that is what it’s called, but you KNOW these people – people who think they are better than everyone else because they exercise, or run faster, or lift more weights or WHATEVER. They are a bit above and beyond competitive – they think they are some sort of elite or special person. Kyra touched on it a few weeks ago – mentioning that some runners say “that people who listen to music aren’t real runners.” Seriously, what kind of crap is that?
I would be LYING if I said I didn’t have a sense of accomplishment over being able to run when a lot of people cannot. BUT, that does not mean that I think I am better than other people. I recognize that we are all different, with different capabilities. Honestly, I am just excited when someone tells me they are following any sort of exercise plan. Walking, swimming, biking, weights, rowing, whatever it is… I am happy to hear about it. I can always learn something new. And when someone tells me they are struggling, I do not judge them – I remember being extremely overweight and begging Steven to slow down when we ran because I could not keep up with him. I remember only being able to run for 2 minutes before having to stop.
The postcard upset me, because I think everyone needs encouragement. And not just in regards to exercising – in regards to life. Everyone needs someone to back them up, or at least that feeling that they are doing “the right thing.” Support systems are what keep us going. In my opinion anyway. You can try to do it all on your own, but it’s hard.
So when when I read “I feel superior when my machine is set at a faster pace,” it makes me think this is the type of person who is not out there encouraging other runners. It makes me think that this is the type of person giving running a bad name, actually discouraging other people. I mean, come on, what were your thoughts when you read it? How did it make you feel?
Awhile ago, I wrote a post related to running, and Nilsa commented on the “running community” and the willingness of runners to support one another. At the time, I honestly didn’t know what she meant. But now that I work with so many people who are in to exercise and running, I get it. They are all so supportive and encouraging. It feels great. I don’t know if they are telling me to go for it, then thinking “I am so much faster than her,” but they are making that effort to encourage me, and I like it.
In life, who are we racing against? Others or ourselves? I believe if you continually compare yourself to others, you can never find happiness or feel accomplished.
Themocracy
When I see that postcard, I kind of laugh. Because most of the people I know. Most of the people I’ve seen in the gyms where I work and workout. Pretty much keep to themselves. And the few who are out there to get attention from others. Either through lots of grunting in the weight room. Or one-up-man-ship in the cardio room. They’re the ones everyone loves to hate. Because 99.9% of us workout to better our own health (in whatever way we can), not to “win” in a competition against people who don’t even know they’re competing.
Don’t let this person make you angry. It’s on PostSecret, which obviously showcases people’s ridonculous insecurities in anonymous form. She (unless it’s a dude with supremely girly handwriting) probably feels inferior in many other aspects of her life. In fact, she probably unknowingly alienates a lot of people in her everyday life by having such an elitist attitude. It’s just great that YOU have a positive outlook on exercising and your own physical abilities and running progress.
I believe there are people who probably feel that way, but there are many others who know what it was like to start walking, running, lifting or whatever for themselves and want to offer encouragement to others and receive encouragement back. The only person we can truly compete against is ourselves. Friendly competition is one thing, but when it is taken to a level of superiority it is no longer friendly.
There will always be people who need to belittle others to make themselves feel superior. Unfortunately, they are often insecure in their own selves.
I have to agree with everyone on this; it’s probably someone who feels like the underdog everywhere else, or is perpetually needing to belittle other people. Those people are lost. But maybe the wording was wrong, too? Maybe, like you, they just feel like they are really accomplishing something that most people cannot?
I don’t feel superior to anyone when I work out, but when I’m done and it’s only 6:30 AM I feel really good that I have accomplished something before the sun has risen that most people won’t even though they have all day. for me, it’s about ME getting it done. A pat on the back, with no discouragement meant towards anyone else at all.
But the elitism is there. In everything. People just really feel the need to be better than someone else, and if they can drive a person out of the “race” by being a snob, they feel even more entitled because of it.
Thanks for writing about this, Kim. I agree with someone above – since this is a secret, I think it probably showcases the writer’s insecurities more than anything else. Perhaps this is why they are trying so hard to overcompensate?
I don’t like the way the postcard is written. It does make it sound like that person feels “better than” someone else, which makes me mad.
When I swim though, I do “race” the person next to me to make myself go faster. The person generally had no idea we are racing, and it is only to motivate myself. I do the same thing with running or biking. It isn’t to make me feel better than the other person, just to motivate me when I need some sort of external motivation because I am getting tired or whatever.
Most people I have met in triathlons are super friendly and helpful. Every single time I am waiting for my wave of swimming to take off I meet some incredible people who love to exchange tips. I am happy I don’t seem to meet people who think like the person who wrote the postcard! I really dislike that kind of negativity!
I am not a runner, I do sprints now and then on the treadmill but I am not a runner. But I am trying to do ohter things and take new classes to get myself in shape. For me that is all that matters, that I am happy with my progress and my progresion.
I get turne doff by the attention seeking people. Just because I don’t lift 50 lbs does not make the 8 lbs that I am lifting any less signficant.
If people judge you by how fast/slow you run, then they do not have an understanding of sportsmanship!
Go girl go!
i hate to say it but that postcard hit a nerve with me too when i read it yesterday… when i read that i thought … um, screw you… i’m at the gym working out too and just cause your machine is set higher than mine doesn’t make you any better than me!!!! and then i thought, well, that’s another reason i don’t go to the gym!!! people like that!!! but i suppose that there are all kinds of people out there… like you said, exercise elitists.. and then people like me who are constantly scared others are judging them because of the shape they’re in… (even though if i am at the gym i am trying to do something about it)…. there is nothing wrong with having a sense of accomplishment, it’s when it gets blown out of proportion into the elitist attitude that the problem comes in…
i agree with you… i think that being supportive and encouraging are extremely important… it is so much easier for me to keep on doing if i know that someone has my back and is supporting and encouraging me… plus, it makes both of you feel good!!!
your final thought… i believe if we constantly compare ourselves to others we will never find happiness or feel accomplished is so true… so very true…
=^..^=
People who compare themselves like that do not have strong self-esteem. They don’t actually like themselves so they have to try to put people down to feel better. And that’s about the saddest state of affairs in the entire world.
Be glad you are not like them! You’re better than that type.
I read this on postsecret yesterday too, and it did hit a bit of a nerve. My gym is one of those ginormous monstrosities that has probably 70 treadmills lined up in 3 rows (behind the 2 rows of ellipticals, 1 row of stair devils, etc) and you can sometimes see those one or two people who are more worried about what other people have their machines set on, than what they are capable of doing themselves. I cover my display with a towel, mainly because if I cant see the time, I dont check it ever 2.3 seconds BUT it’s also so Joe Nosey-Runs So Fast next to me cant see what I have everything set at.
eep. i actually feel the same way as the secret-writer, but not in a.. um, how to put this? not in a BAD superior way. like, i used to not be able to run at all. and then i couldn’t run very fast. and now i can kinda run for a short distance, at a good clip. so i DO get sort of competitive and “ha! i’m running faster than that person! and they’re a DUDE!!!” when i’m at the gym and sneak a peak at my neighbor. but… it’s not in a mean superior way! if that’s possible! eep 🙁
I really believe that all of us compare ourselves to others sometimes — but that it’s a damaging habit and something we have to work to fight. Stroking our egos by paying attention to how we measure up against other people is always a losing game, because even if we’re “winning,” we’ll lose eventually.
I get mad when I’m on the other side of this too, when someone automatically assumes because I’m doing something that they can’t (or don’t want to) do, that I’m going to think I’m better than them. Maybe I’m doing it for my own satisfaction.
We all have our strengths and weaknesses and there are no prizes to win by beating each other out, so let’s all cheer each other on instead.
BTW, I really think people just make up those post secret cards as a sort of fiction/art project.
SoMi’s Nilsa – When I went to the gym in college (we exercise at home now) I never felt like people were like that either. So I guess it is not something that is displayed outright. I hope most people are there to focus on their own health. I guess I have just been wondering why so many people are being so competitve lately (yeah, there’s more history there).
Mica – Thanks for pointing that out. Because I did get upset enough that I forgot to consider that. Sometimes I don’t even read PS because it bothers me so much. I feel weird about that.
Tony – I don’t feel like I have many personal encounters with those people who want to belittle, but I am just getting so fed up. Sometimes it ruins things a bit for me. Sorry to be so vague.
Kyra – I just can’t understand that – because I am like you – doing it for me. When it comes down to it, that’s call I care about. ME ME ME!!! 😛
Mrs. Smith – That must be it. You are all so much more logical than me. Why have my emotions been so off lately? I am getting frustrated with myself!
radioactive tori – I think the negativity is what put me off too. It made me wonder if this is what people are really thinking under their friendly exterior. Maybe they are. I think it’s great to use someone else as motivation to push yourself. You just gotta keep in all in check. I know you are! 🙂
Christina – Sportsmanship. It seems so elusive sometimes. Gosh. When did I get so bitter? I am not liking any of my comment responses. I need to snap out of this funk.
CourtneyInControl – Yay! Someone who had the same reaction as me! I was surprised by my reaction, because gyms and other people don’t bother me at all. I never feel like anyone is judging me. I am not judging them – why would they care about ME? But maybe some people are. Whatever. Maybe by worrying too much about them I am holding myself back.
sizzle – I am glad. I am glad that I enjoy encouraging others and seeing their progress! I am going to focus on that instead – being more encouraging.
Scale Warfare – Wow! I have never been to a gym THAT big. I would have to think it would be a bit intimidating. I like your technique. Let those peering eyes look elsewhere!
Alice – I don’t think it’s mean if you are thinking that in realization of how much you’ve improved. You know – you notice you are running faster and think, “wow, I’ve really made progress!” Unless you are thinking, “I am so much better than him…” which I don’t think you are.
Jen – I can totally relate to your second paragraph – that is why I stopped talking to people at work about exercise for awhile. I felt like people thought I was better than them. I just wanted to talk about my passion 🙁 I wonder how many of those cards ARE made up! We’ll never know…
I didn’t take it that seriously when I read it the other day. People are generally competitive, but that sort of outlook just makes a person look small to me.
May account in part for why I’ve never cared for gyms though…
It annoyed me when I read that postcard yesterday as well! I can people at my gym watching and judging others. Why not celebrate the fact that people are making a concerted effort to take care of their bodies’? Degrading someone certainly won’t make them feel better and your elitism only lasts as long as you can convince yourself of such hideous lies. Thanks for pointing this mentality out!
I ‘run’ into this a lot in my life. Either they think I’m a fitness idiot or they are trying to compete with me. It drives me nuts. I have several family members who are like this. If I get close to their weight or size, they panic and try to work harder and get smaller than me. It’s too much to ask for a little pat on the back or some support.
I stopped subscribing to Post Secret a couple months ago. I think it’s kind of lost its purpose. It now only serves to make me depressed, grossed out, or mad.
I have had different experiences depending on my choice of gym. Bally’s, especially in Lincoln Park, made me feel like I was constantly being judged or people were looking down their nose at me. Of course, these were women who were anorexic-skinny and hanging on to the treadmill for dear life. That’s definitely a case of their problem, not mine.
At my current gym I feel like the playing field is much more level. There are students, senior citizens, moms, and urban professionals like me! Most people seem like they are really there to work out. Now and again I catch someone who appears to be showing off for the opposite sex but that is rare. I actually get really excited when I see an elderly or overweight person working out because I think, “Hooray for you!” There have been times I have actually wanted to say that to people. Hee hee. Those old ladies that can still hold their own on the treadmill are my heroes!
Healthy competition is one thing, but thinking you are superior for lifting x lbs or running x mph is just making up for lacking somewhere else (usually in self esteem). I do a perfectly good job of making MYSELF feel inferior when I exercise. :p
I get this attitude from time to time. You ‘only’ do a 12 minute mile. But everyone I have met with that attitude I’ve met many many more who are supportive and wonderful and “all that”. If they need to be better than you, then they definitely need a life. (Isn’t it a bit too much like gym class. God, I hated gym class.
I’m going to join the chorus. One of the other mom’s at The Boy’s school is a Runner. She qualified for Boston during the heatwave in Chicago. We were talking while dropping off the kids one day, she said to me “Yeah, but you’re a real runner.” You could have knocked me over with a feather. I told her that she said, “I run because my friends do, it what we do to stay in shape. You run because you love it.” Point being a runner isn’t about speed, it’s about that moment when you go farther than you ever thought possible. The racers well, they can go at it. Me… well, I’m happy in the back meeting people and having adventures.
To quote the cheesy song: “The race is long and in the end it’s only with yourself.”
You rock don’t let anyone steal your thunder missy. You’ve inspired me to lace up my sneakers and go on more than one occasion.
I hate when anyone thinks they are superior for any reason….exercising, the music they listen to, their political views, the movies they watch, whatever reason–they haave some serious self esteem issues to work out. Drives me crazy!
Keep up with your workouts! You are looking fantastic!
claire – Makes them seem small to me too. Makes me not want to be around them!
Emma – Thank YOU for bringing up a good point – how long are they going to feel good for making someone else feel bad? That feeling goes away after awhile. What happens when they have no one to compare themselves to? How do they find happiness then?!
Sue – Thanks for stopping by! I think that it’s the WORST when family is not supportive. That is who you expect to be the MOST supportive! When that happens, you really have to focus on “doing it for yourself.” Which you already are, but their support would help so much!
diane – There have been SO MANY postsecret posts that gross me out (especially ones about abusing animals). You know, I forgot that people go to the gym to meet other people… right? I think Steven told me about this. There’s a name for it, right? I am happy you found a gym with such a diversity! Can you imagine how great one of those people might feel if you did say something to them? It would make MY day! I feel excited when I see “non-traditional” people working out too. You don’t have to have a perfect body to be active and love it!
Nat – Thank you 😀 I have never heard that quote before. I am not thinking it is cheesy! I am thinking it is right on! And I have to tell you – reading your running blog through the cold season helped me get back on track. I don’t mind being in the back of the group and I LOVE meeting new people, especially runners! Gosh! Now I am all excited. Guess I will use this excitement at work today.
Robin – Thank you! And I feel the same way – everything is SO SUBJECTIVE! I hate it when people think they are better than others because of their interests. They’re just INTERESTS! What does it matter?!
My brother’s ex girlfriend once said something that totally defined their relationship, even though it was an off handed exercise remark. My brother had just recently started running after basically not exercising at all for years, and within days of starting to run he was running 5-7 miles a day. His girlfriend told him that she didn’t believe he was really running that distance because her dad ran that far every day and there was no way my brother and her dad could do the same thing.
The ex and her dad (because he was insane and raised her to be very much like himself) think everything they do, exercise included, is better than everyone else. No one can run faster or further than them, and everyone is always less healthy and fatter than they are.
Jenn – Oh my gosh! I cannot imagine saying something like that to someone who has just started running, and is doing so well from the start. How discouraging. Did your brother break up with her shortly after that? Sounds like a not so nice family.
Nope, surprisingly he dated her for at least another year or so after that comment. She was a nice girl, just raised by a complete ass so it had to rub off eventually.
Boo on the sender of that postcard, and anyone else with that attitude. What are they gaining? There are plenty of people out there with attitudes like yours, who are happy to see people doing anything to improve/maintain a healthy lifestyle. Those are the people I listen to, not elitist athletes…
Christina really said it well! I have to remind myself of that many times while at the gym.
Jenn – I know people who were raised by similar types of people… it’s really a struggle to fight becoming your parents!
superslawa – Big BOO! I think they are only gaining a feeling of empowerment… for a moment! I just want to feel good about myself! I don’t need to feel better than anyone else!
Gina (Mannyed) – I wish we DIDN’T have to remind ourselves! But we do… in lots of places! Now that I think about this more, it has come up SO MUCH in fencing (that may be why this bothered me so much) and even in my bowling league last year!