Devastated

By , September 7, 2010 8:43 pm

About two weeks ago my mother-in-law, Linda, went to the hospital because she had flu-like symptoms. It turned out she had a bad infection. The doctors took care of her for several days and she was about ready to leave, when she had an unrelated major heart attack on Thursday August 26th.

Her brain was oxygen deprived for too long during the attack. She passed away on Saturday the 4th.

She was only 62.

Steven flew down to Kansas City on Thursday the 26th, and I drove down on Friday the 27th. We spent most of our time in the hospital – at first occasionally leaving for meals and to sleep, and then staying in the hospital and only leaving for the occasional shower and to pick up food.

We’re all completely shocked by what happened, and obviously, completely heartbroken. Words cannot describe the pain we feel, but “devastated” comes pretty close.

For me, besides being completely worried about Steven’s dad, Steven, and his brother, I feel so so saddened by the family friends and coworkers who came in to visit Linda. They told so many wonderful stories about how passionate, helpful and giving Linda was. It was obvious they were in pain that she would no longer be a part of their life… and it became obvious to me that I still needed to get to know my mother-in-law a lot better.

That opportunity is mostly gone now. She’ll just relive through the stories shared.


There is a lot more I would like to add, but right now, I am just so filled with sadness, there is not much else I can say. I feel kind of lost, and am having a hard time making decisions and thinking straight.

78 Responses to “Devastated”

  1. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I’m sending lots of prayers your way. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.

  2. claire says:

    Oh, Kim, that’s heartbreaking. I’m so sorry for Steven’s and your loss.

  3. diane says:

    I’m so, so sorry Kim. I am sending hugs and prayers to you and Steven and everyone who knew Linda. I will be thinking of you all so much over the coming days. Please let me know if you need anything.

  4. Erin says:

    You know I’m here if you need to talk. Or if you just want to sit and be. Whatever. I may not be the praying type, but I can honestly say I’m thinking about you guys every day.

  5. Jamie says:

    I am so sorry for your and your families loss. My thoughts are with you all.

  6. Oh honey, I’m so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  7. I know there are no words of comfort at a time like this, but I just want to say that I’m so sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my thoughts.

  8. Katie H says:

    I’m so sorry Kim. 🙁

  9. Melissa says:

    Kim, I am so sorry for your loss…

  10. Linzi says:

    I am so sorry Kim. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  11. Oh Kim, I wish there was something I could say. There is no explanation as to why bad things happen to good people. I just hope you know I am thinking of you and praying for you, Stephen and your whole family to find peace within. <3 and hugs.

  12. Kayla says:

    Kim, I am so so sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers!

  13. ChezJulie says:

    Oh, no, that is terrible! In addition to the shock and loss you are going through, I know from experience that it is tough to watch a loved one grieving and not be able to take away the pain. Don’t feel guilty, though – you should have had many more years to get to know your M-I-L even better.

  14. cher says:

    oh my gosh, i’m so sorry. yes, devastated sounds about right for the moment. i’m sorry you don’t get the chance to know her better, but listen closely to the stories that will be floating around about her…i’m sure there will be many.

  15. Kim says:

    I am so sorry. What a shock. There are no words for these situations. You do have the memories to share, but the pain will be there for some time. My thoughts are with you and Steven. I can’t even imagine that feeling of sudden loss… Hang in there as best you can. I’m sure Steven is just so grateful to have you there for him.

  16. Kristie says:

    Oh Kim, I am praying and thinking of you and Steven and your family. Sometimes it just seems like the most wonderful people are the ones to go :(. Sounds like she lived an amazing life though and really touched people’s lives during it.

  17. Adam says:

    It is not length of life, but depth of life. — Ralph Waldo Emerson.

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I was immediately reminded of that Emerson quote for some reason. So, do what your MIL would have wanted you to do…..live your life to the fullest every day knowing that she will always be there when you need her the most.

    Tell Steven we’re thinking of him as well as his family – yourself included.

  18. Amy says:

    Kim, my heart goes out to you, Steven and the family and friends…I am so sorry for your loss and I wish you all great strength in getting through the hard times ahead of you.

  19. Sizzle says:

    I am so sad for all of you. My heart breaks. I am sending you love. Be gentle with yourselves. Life is far too short.

  20. Sarah Who? says:

    Kim, I can’t imagine what you and Steven must be going through; I’m heartsick for you. My love is with you both. Take it one moment at a time. xo

  21. J says:

    So sorry to hear about your lose. It is the hard when something so unexpected happens like this. Hope you and Steven are doing ok and know that we are all sending prayers to you and your family.

  22. kapgar says:

    I’m really sorry for yours and Steven’s loss. We’re praying for you both.

  23. Erin says:

    I’m so sorry for your and Steven’s loss. My prayers are with. You guys!

  24. Oh Kim, I am so sorry for your and Steven’s loss. My heart goes out to you guys.

  25. Erin says:

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers today.

  26. Holly says:

    Kim, this was so sad to read and so out of the blue. Seeing the outpouring of support on the blog is very nice, I’m glad I’m one of many “thinking of you” comments. Stay strong.

  27. Anne says:

    Kim…I am so sorry to read this…my thoughts are with you and Steve and his family. Hugs ((()))

  28. Kim says:

    So sorry to hear this, Kim. Praying for you.

  29. I am so sorry. I was thinking about her and you and wondering how everything was going. I am so sad for all of you! If you need anything, I am here! Give Steven a big hug for me, and give yourself one too. What a terrible thing to happen. I really am so sorry.

  30. Madison says:

    So sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

  31. Megan says:

    Very sorry for your loss, Kim– will keep you and the family in my thoughts.

  32. I’m so sorry for your loss.

    <3 <3

  33. Bethany says:

    I am so, so sorry for your loss, Kim. It sounds like she was a wonderful woman. I will keep you all in my prayers.

  34. I am so sorry. THoughts and prayers go out to you, your husband and family. HUGS

  35. Tony says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you and Steven through this hard time.

  36. oh sweetheart, my heart is breaking for you both. i’ll be praying for you all and sending virtual hugs

  37. Jen says:

    Kim, I’m so so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself in this difficult time.

    You don’t get over it, you just get through it. Your don’t get by it, because you can’t get around it. It doesn’t ‘get better’; it just gets different. Everyday… Grief puts on a new face…. Wendy Feireisen

  38. Christina says:

    Kim, I am so sorry to read this. My thoughts are with you and Steve at this time.

    Please let me know if I can do anything,

  39. Holly says:

    Kim, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to imagine how hard this is right now for you, Steven, and your family. I will be praying for you all during this most difficult time.

  40. BostonRunner says:

    I’m so sorry for you loss, Kim. My heart goes out to you, Steven and your family.

  41. Shutupandrun says:

    Words can’t convey how hard this must be. And how unexpected. Thinking of you and I am SO sorry. Tell Steven that as well.

  42. Oh, hon, I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine how tough this is, specially to Steven. Warm thoughts for you all.

  43. bobbi says:

    Oh…I am so so sorry for your loss. As someone who lost her own MIL way way too soon, my heart goes out to you, Steven, and your family. Thinking of you….

  44. I am so sad for you and Steven. I know how much this completely sucks (for lack of a better word). I remember when my brother passed away so suddenly I had to work through that shock before I could process anything further. Don’t be afraid to lean on friends and family during this really difficult time. They will help see you through, as well as the great stories and happy memories. Take it one day at a time. I’m hear for you and Steven.
    XOXO

  45. Carol says:

    I’m sorry. It’s always hard to lose someone you love but in my experience, a “mom” has the additional effect that the whole family no longer has the one central person who often holds (and brings) everyone together. There is no “getting over” it, just getting through it. Peace to you and your family.

  46. Susan says:

    I’m so sorry! Losing someone is hard no matter what, but when it’s sudden and unexpected, it’s just that much harder. My thoughts are with your family.

  47. Pauline says:

    My sincere condolences. That is awful and so strange to lose her just when she seemed to be better. My thoughts are with you and your husband and his family.

  48. k8 says:

    So sorry, my friend. I will be thinking of you and your family. Grief is hard. Keep walking and holding onto your loved ones tightly.

  49. Leah says:

    Oh Kim I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family. She sounds like a great woman. Dont stop telling stories about her, it helps to remember.

  50. Mallory says:

    Sorry for your and Steven’s sudden loss, my thoughts are with you and your family.

  51. Joanne says:

    The best thing you can do is share with your family. Be there for each other. It’s so painful to lose a loved one. Blessings be with you all.

  52. I’m so sorry to hear that.

  53. Oh, no. That is really awful—I’m so sorry.

  54. Danielle Turner says:

    Kim & Steven.. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss 🙁 you are in my thoughts & prayers.

  55. Paula says:

    Kim, I am so devastated for you! Sometimes life just isn’t fair. Life is more precious than we know. We have to cherish each day. My heart goes out to you and Steven and his family. Little by little he will be able to tell you more about her and it will make you guys stronger. <3

  56. What shocking and most certainly devastating news. I’m really sorry to hear about your loss. One thing you’ll never regret is spending those final days with Steven’s mom. I’m glad you didn’t think twice about making the trip to KC. My thoughts are with you guys…

  57. salwa says:

    Oh my God, I’m so sorry. So, so sorry. Tears come to my eyes at the thought of losing my mother-in-law or anyone else in my husband’s family. My thoughts and prayers go out to you all.

  58. lifestudent says:

    Sorry to hear about your loss. I am sure there are tough times ahead, but it sounds like you are all surrounded by a loving and caring network. That seems to be what is most important in times like these.

  59. MissZippy1 says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about this…so devastating for you and your loved ones. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  60. Mica says:

    “Devastated” sounds like the right word to me. What an unexpected and terrible loss for your family. I cannot think of anything very “helpful” to say at a time like this, but you and Steven are in my thoughts. Also, I think it’s really wonderful that you focused on what a positive impact your mother-in-law made on those around her…even if that makes her passing so much harder. It must be so painful because you all really loved her.

  61. Christina says:

    Love you sister. I am always here for you and Steven, and feel so sad that this happened.

  62. Denise says:

    We are so sorry to hear about Steven’s mother. Our hearts go out to you at this very sad time. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Love you guys. Denise & Larry <3

  63. Kim, I’m so sorry this happened. Life can be really unexpected 🙁 You are your family are in my thoughts <3

  64. Karin says:

    Kim and Steven. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  65. Kim,
    You, Steven, and his family are in my thoughts. I wish there was something I could do to ease the pain. Just know that we are here for you if you need anything!!!! Big hugs!!!!

    =^..^=

  66. Alice says:

    oh my gosh kim, i’m so sorry. that’s absolutely awful – the internet will definitely be sending heaps of good thoughts and hugs to you both. xoxo

  67. martymankins says:

    So sorry to hear of your loss. 62 is way too young for anyone to pass on. My thoughts are with you and your family at this time.

  68. So sorry to hear this Kim! You and Steven are in my thoughts and prayers. hugs!

  69. Oh Kim, I’m so sorry to hear this. 🙁 She sounds like she was dearly loved and I wish you all the best. <3

  70. Stephany says:

    Oh, my gosh. I am so, so, so incredibly sorry to hear this. I am sending you so much love & hugs & prayers during this difficult time.

  71. Teeni says:

    Oh, oh, oh! I’m so sorry to hear this news. My deepest sympathies to you and of course your husband. I will keep you both, and all of your mother-in-law’s family members, in my thoughts and prayers during this sad time.

  72. Etta says:

    Oh, kim! I am so sorry to hear about Steven’s mother’s passing. It’s devastating enough to lose a loved one, but even worse to watch them suffer. I’m glad you were able to say good-bye. You and your family will definitely be in my prayers tonight.

  73. Kandi says:

    Kim, I know all too well how you are feeling right now. My boyfriend (of 6 years) just lost his Mom under similar circumstances on August 4th (she had just turned 55). It is very devastating. I’ll be thinking of and praying for your family.

  74. Jenn says:

    I’m so sorry for Steven and your family 🙁

  75. Nat says:

    I am so sorry for your loss.

  76. Oh, Kim! My deepest sympathy for you and Steven, and the entire family. How horribly tragic. She is beautiful, and I’m sure her spirit will live on through her son.

    God Bless.

  77. kaylen says:

    Sad!! My thoughts go out to you and Steven, and his family at large. She will live on in memory. She was a beautiful woman.
    Hugs to you!

  78. Robin says:

    What a devastating loss…my heart goes out to you and Steven. Hugs to you both.

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