Wow, everyone – I felt so much better yesterday knowing how many of you could relate to my frustration with things being out of my control. There were some great tips:
- Take deep breaths and remember that one frustrating day means nothing in the grand scheme of things – from Anna
- Take me time – even if it’s just 15 minutes of peace and quiet - from Karin
- Schedule time to get things done – defer emails, phone calls and questions so that you can focus - from Nilsa
- Take a break and count to 10 – from Scale Warfare
- Control the only thing you can – your reaction – from Christina
- Put the situation into perspective – from Lacey
- Keep long term goals in mind - from RunningLaur
- Take a break from your routine (to keep things fresh) - from Kate
- Give yourself an entire day with nothing planned – from Diane
I figured since many of you could relate to my frustration with things being out of my control, that you might also relate to my problems with being impatient. I think those two issues go hand in hand – you create an elaborate schedule for yourself, and are very impatient if things don’t go accordingly. Sadly, I am almost always in a rush, or cutting my time short – cramming as much into my day as I can. It goes haywire when I expect other people to be on the same path as me, and they just aren’t (good for them!). I get impatient when someone isn’t on time, when someone takes longer than I think they should, when I have to wait for an answer, when the train is late, when I am behind a slow driver (last night!), when I am waiting to get into my seat on a plane, when I am stuck in a slow-moving line… you get the idea!
Valerie Frankel wrote a great article for the March issue of SELF, humorously discussing her lack of patience and how she went about changing it. She cites a few studies done about impatience, and shares the suggestions she received on dealing with it.
Here is what really spoke to me from the article:
Impatience can also be a by-product of living in a chaotic world. Generally, it arises when we don’t feel in control.
Waiting with patience means actively accepting the current circumstances and giving up the illusion that you can control the world.
Agreed! But, wait… how do I do that?!
Frankel received tips (from a Buddhist monk) on how to be more patient:
- Distraction: when you are waiting in line, read a book.
- Meditation: say a mantra of your own as you breathe in and out.
- Manage expectations: instead of thinking “this line should move faster,” try “it would be nice if this line moved faster.”
- Accept circumstances: accept the things you cannot change
- Have a sense of humor: this Frankel’s tip – if all else fails, find something to laugh at!
Notice how similar some of these tips are to the tips you gave me yesterday?
Are you impatient? Do you think this tips would work for you? What are your tips on being more patient?
I think they might work for me, but that I would really have to do a lot of self-talk to calm myself down. I am going to try them though!
Yesterday in the comments, Erin mentioned that she used to create all of these plans, but never share them… then she felt upset when people weren’t following her plans. She realized this didn’t make sense – how would they know what she wanted to do if she didn’t tell them – so she started sharing her plans.
I used to do that too. I still do, a bit. I create these elaborate schedules and do not share them with Steven, then wonder why we are so frustrated with each other on the weekends. Now we plan out our weekends, and when I wake up in the morning, I usually ask him what he wants to get done during the day.
So, that is my tip – VOCALIZE YOUR SCHEDULE – it decreases the chances that it will be interrupted, or, lets you plan for interruptions.
If you’re interested, I’ve included a few other interesting tidbits from the article below:
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