10 Things I’ve learned about myself…
… while my husband was gone. Steven’s been in Kansas City for four weeks as of today. He is coming home tomorrow. Yay! I’ve missed him!
We had a long distance relationship for my last four years of college, and for about seven months of that time, I lived in Rome. So we are used to being apart from one another. Obviously, we don’t prefer it, but I don’t think of it as a big deal.
Have you ever been in long distance relationship? How do you think that experience has affected you?
I did notice that I quickly reverted back to a “living on my own” style and learned a few funny things about myself:
- I am not a foodie. I don’t like to cook and am not that interested in food. I only fed myself because I knew I needed to eat.
- I eat mostly healthy on my own (not counting the night I had homemade guacamole with chips for dinner, and last night’s pancakes).
- I have a hard time relaxing on my own. I have a lot of nervous energy and kept myself too busy.
- I don’t like to have the television on, even to watch movies. I would turn something on and quickly turn it off. I guess this shouldn’t surprise me – I didn’t even own a television in college.
- I am not a slob! I kept the house fairly tidy and clean.
- I am more likely to use the computer at night if I am home alone – then have a hard time turning it off to go to bed (I usually don’t use it at all at night).
- I don’t get very lonely* (see number 3 above – kept myself too busy).
- I have really become accustomed to Steven driving me to the train in the morning and picking me up after work, and I miss that.
- I like video chat more than talking on the phone! We used gchat once and I found myself much less distracted than when we talk on the phone (and much less bored).
- I leave the bathroom door open when he’s not around. Ha! (The bathroom is in our bedroom.)
And what did I learn about Data? He doesn’t like me as much as Steven. He’s been moping around the house wondering where his daddy is. I’ve been sending Steven lots of stupid pictures of Data.
*But that does not mean I did not miss Steven! I just know how to have fun on my own, too – I’m pretty independent. Plus, Data was there (moping and contorting his body)!
Themocracy
I tried a long distance relationship once. The guy I was dating moved back to Canada after we had been dating for 4 months. We saw each other more often than I thought we would in the following 5 or so months that we were together but ultimately it didn’t work out. I didn’t want to move to Canada and he didn’t want to move back to the states so we decided it had to end.
Scott and I were in a long distance relationship the entire time we were in school. Our schools were 7 hours apart from each other and even during breaks I was in Pittsburgh and he was in Philly. He did a lot of long distance driving and we made great use of free weekend minutes (um on actual landline phones. No one had cell phones or internet access when we were dating.). Because we spent years apart I hate when we are separated now, even for a few days. I do alright but I don’t like it. Scott tends to fall apart so I have to make him a schedule including having meals premade so he can heat them up. I love him but he’s not the most resourceful when it comes to taking care of himself. Ha!
Yay Data pictures! Chris and I were long distance over the summers when we were dating in college (he lived in NJ and I stayed in MI) and then for a semester when I studied in Argentina, and although I wouldn’t have called it fun, we did it and I do think you get to see more of how you are without them which is a good thing! I know couples that can’t stand to be apart for even a day or two at a time, and I’m not saying that’s silly but it’s definitely not me :).
I could have written most of that list. My hubs has been travelling for work too and will be for the next few weeks. Although he does come home on the weekends.
Li laughed when I read #10. I have to keep the bathroom door open to keep an eye on the pets. It is amazing what they get into in those few minutes.
I hope that you have a happy reunion.
I thought of you when I was writing this 🙂
I don’t think the bathroom door ever shuts at my place unless there is company… lol
The former fiance and I were long distance for 4 years, and it worked out well – I felt like I didn’t have to be guilty spending time on homework and things during the time that we were apart.
What I think will be really interesting is starting after this weekend. It’ll be the first time I’ve ever lived alone, and I’m wondering what will change and what I’ll be like. (Will I keep my house clean!?!?)
You will have to let us know if you change at all!
While I would likely miss Mr. Darcy if he went away, I also really enjoy being alone and my independence. We can do both, right? Right!
I have had many long distance relationships. One with a guy in Chicago (me here in WA) and others within CA (LA to Santa Cruz, SF to Santa Cruz). None of them lasted. That could have been because of the distance or more so, about where I was at emotionally in my availability to be in a long term relationship.
I think I’ve been alone so long, that trying to fit another person into my life would be hard. Hahahaha! Here I get all weepy about not having a husband, when really? I don’t think I have time for him.
I have never been in anything too long (more than an hour) but I think I would prefer it. Weird I guess, but true. I prefer my own space and time. I lived with my ex and it was fine because we worked different schedules, but I was actually okay with his traveling because I am so fiercely independent and need my me time.
I cannot get over how cute Data is! Our male cat likes my husband better. He’s so happy to just sit on his lap for HOURS. I’m only a tiny bit jealous…
I’ve never done the long-distance thing for any length of time. I dated a guy who lived an hour away for a year, but then I moved closer. I don’t think I have much tolerance for distance. Ha. I really don’t like being away from Lawrence at all. It is nice to have “me-time” to realize things about yourself though. Is Steven more of a foodie then? It seems like you guys are into food/cooking as a couple.
FYI — I leave the bathroom door open when my husband IS around. Haha.
Aww, thanks 🙂 Data loves Steven’s lap too. When it’s just me, he sits on the back of the couch and ignores me.
Steven IS more of a foodie. And I like to help him in the kitchen! I guess I don’t have the motivation to do it on my own.
Aww man, I wish I could always leave the door open! (Steven is going to shudder when he reads this)
My husband and I had a long distance relationship from the day we met until about 1 year into our marriage. He really just slept over on the weekends in “our” apartment for about 9 months. We varied from 10 hours apart for the first 2 years, 4 hours apart for another year, and 1 hour for the last 10 months before we were finally in the same place. Due to schooling, not because we were scared to be married or anything, lol.
It was a pretty big change once we were together full time, but luckily we’ve gotten used to each other now.
By the time you got to really live together, were you just so excited and grateful? I remember thinking that when I moved in with Steven. I was like “finally!”
Jason and I were four hours apart for the four years I was in college. I didn’t have a car for two of those years so I only saw him if he came to visit me! And even when I did have a car I still made him come to me 😛
I think it’s good that we get some time to ourselves although four weeks is a lot. I know that when I’m home alone I will cook for myself but I don’t like to. I also rarely turn on the tv unless I have something specific I want to watch that I know Jason won’t be interested in. Sometimes I get a lot done and other times I just laze about the house. I think, though, that it’s a little different doing long distance when you’re by yourself vs. having roommates around. I always had ready made company during those four years at college so now I kind of cherish some of my alone time.
It would be a lot different to have roomies. I did all of college except for the last year. And I barely keep in touch with any of those people. Except on FB. Which doesn’t count.
It sounds like we have similar “home alone” personalities!
Raymond and I lived 6 months apart, while I was working in NC and he was finishing up his PhD. I hated every minute of it. The last couple years he has been on overseas assignments for 3 months at a time, which is not fun given the time difference.
Sadie mops when Raymond is not around, however I hear that she mops when I am not around as well, so don’t take Data’s mopping to heart, I bet ya if you were out of town he would be mopping as well.
That’s true. Steven says Data wonders where I am when I am gone.
The overseas assignments would be hard! I can take a few weeks or a month, but jeez… you couldn’t even see him then!
oh and to add, when he is not home, the TV stays on, the door to the bed room never closes and I cook one large meal so I can just heat it up every night for dinner with some minor additions to it.
The hubby and I never have had to do long distance (unless you factor in DC traffic when I lived in Alexandria and he was in Bethesda) but with his school schedule and my training and studying for the CPA, sometimes I feel like we go a few days wtihout really seeing each other. I am glad the hubby is going to be home tomorrow though.
PS—You get to try some sharkies!! Send me an email and I’ll send your goodies to you!
Wow, I didn’t realize that he had been gone for so long. Though I did notice that you were doing a lot of your runs by yourself.
It’s good that you CAN handle distance and keep yourself busy. (Try to relax sometimes, lady!) I think that means you have a really stable, healthy relationship.
Thanks 🙂
And I did force myself to sit down and watch an entire movie Thursday night! (after cleaning the house)
Awww I don’t think it’s that Data doesn’t like you as much, I think pets just get upset when someone’s ‘missing’ from the normal routine.
Glad the 4 weeks apart is almost done. The Caveman has been in Vegas all week. I love being alone but the single parenting isn’t so great.
We did the long distance thing for a year when she was still in HS and for a year when I graduated college. (well, and when I travel 4 days out of the week). We both def get into our own routines and TRY to not clash a whole lot when we are home for the weekends….try.
I’ve had the opportunity to be in a long distance relationship and I won’t go for it. The guy has asked me out about 5 times but I know it wouldn’t work for either of us. Would I try it with a different guy? Definitely. I don’t think I would like it though.
my cat doesn’t like me as much as my husband either. 4 weeks is a long time! good thing it is almost over!
Mr P is gone one night every other week or so, and I am miserable.
I haven’t ever had a long-distance relationship. I couldn’t do it – I’m independent, but if I’m in a relationship, I want it to be …an “active” relationship. My BF has gone on a few trips – a couple weekends and a week home to visit family, and the week-long almost killed me. 😛 This, from a girl who lives alone, is incredibly independent and didn’t do a whole lot of dating in the last few years! Now that I’m attached, I’m ATTACHED! Haha…
I’ve never dated someone that I’ve wanted to be around ALL the time. I kind of like this feeling, to be honest… 🙂
It’s great that you can be so happy & fulfilled without your husband! I think it’s awesome that you have other hobbies to keep your attention when he’s away.
I’ve never been in a long-distance relationship but I definitely see the benefits and disadvantages of them!
I am not a foodie either. I work with people that have conversations about what they are preparing for dinner, what they had for lunch, etc. As long as I have the basics, I’m good to go.
Data is adorable!
I like to talk about how much I love to EAT food and what I am craving… but not about making it. At All!
Thank you! 🙂
I love hearing about how people deal with time apart in relationships. My partner and I spent two years doing the bi-coastal thing. For about the first 6 months, it seemed really “glamorous” to me, and then I just got tired of saying hello and goodbye and flying and airports. It was hard!
Fortunately, we’re now very much together! Still, we spend time apart a few times a year, mainly for work (mine), and I think it kind of recharges us. I miss him, but I also enjoy the time alone/apart – I think it’s good for both of us. I don’t think I’m that much different, although if I’m the one alone at home, then things are probably dirtier than usual!
Personally, I think it’s healthy for us to be a part on occasion, just as reminder that we are very much individuals!
I agree – I think it is healthy and recharges us as well. And, as they say… love makes the heart grow fonder! 🙂
The longest M. Hubby and I have spent apart since we’ve been married is about 10 days, and we were both miserable by the end of it. We are pretty dependent on each other for company. Glad Stephen is coming home!
Love the top picture of Data. He is so cute.
I’ve been in a long distance relationship all throughout college. It’s hard but at the same time I’m glad that I’ve had the opportunity to grow and live on my own. I think this has made me more independent and I don’t rely on someone else to be there or do things for me.
I’ve always been really good at being alone and entertaining myself, in fact I really love those moments when I’m alone and can just putter and get random projects done and such.
Sometimes, those girls in college that have BFs never hang out with anyone else, so that is another good reason to be long distance in college.
haha! this is awesome – with the exception of 8 and 9, it was like this list was written by me. me and my husband have a long distance relatiosnhip – he is an insurance adjuster on a catastrophe team, so when there are natural disaster, big storms or forest fires, he’s gone for three weeks, home for one week, then gone again. although he’s been home for the last year because of his broken shoulder, he’s about to go back on the road – and having him home has made me realize that while i love him to death, i also love (and sometimes miss) my personal time.
the weird thing about me? when he’s gone, i leave the other side of the bed made, and use it to hold my computer, magazines and books, all of which i use when i go to bed. i also leave the clean laundry unfolded in the basket and just reuse it as needed. oh, and i also leave my bike on the trainer in the middle of the living in front of the tv the entire time he’s gone.
Wow! Your husband has a really interesting job. So you two have really gotten used to being apart!
That bed thing TOTALLY sounds like something I would do. 🙂