Friday Question #79
What’s your reaction when you receive a compliment?
It makes me crazy when I compliment someone and they brush if off/dismiss it/deny it/dispute it. You know, “Oh, I really don’t like that feature about myself,” “I hate this top,” “I look so fat in this,” etc. Look – I’m not trying to kiss your ass by giving you a compliment. I genuinely noticed something I liked about you, and wanted to let you know.
Anyway, because of this, I am super conscious of how I receive compliments, and have noticed a little habit I have. When someone compliments me (specifically on an article of clothing/accessory, not a characteristic), I tell them a little detail about what they are complimenting me on.
I like your shoes, Kim. “Thanks! I can’t remember where I got them, I just found them in my closet this morning.”*
I really like your top! “Thanks! Every time I wear it, I am really careful I don’t snag it.”**
This is such a weird thing to do… and I’ve noticed I do it all the time! I guess I am trying to make myself feel less awkward when someone compliments me.
*Actual conversation with diane.
**It’s made of lace. Actually, I am wearing it in this pic.
Themocracy
I have a friend who always finds something else wrong about her when you give her a compliment. It drives me batty!
I just say, “thank you so much!” and move on. If they compliment my clothes, I usually tell them where I got it but if it’s about my hair, my looks, my weight, etc, I think a simple, “thank you” will do. Sometimes I add in “I really appreciate that” because I do.
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Hm, I don’t think I have a consistent response for compliments. Sometimes, I’ll add a detail (“Thanks! I got it at Target…isn’t that weird?”), and sometimes I’ll just say, “Thanks!”, and then sometimes, I’ll deny it. I should probably work on that last one.
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ha! This is so funny because I do this, too….and totally didn’t realize it until now!
I used to be SO annoying and brush off compliments, because they made me uncomfortable. Like if someone said, “I like your hair!” I would say, “Oh, thanks – it drives me nuts!” THANKfully that has stopped mostly, because I think if someone is nice enough to give a compliment then I shouldn’t shoot it down.
I think women have a HUGE problem with receiving compliments, which makes me sad. I have a friend who constantly gives compliments to strangers, and it’s really sad some of the looks she gets!
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I now say “thank you” and smile. But it took me a few years to just take a compliment without overthinking!
I usually just say “thanks” unless I’ve been having a conversation with someone and I think it needs me to say something else to keep it going. But if someone just randomly compliments me in the elevator or something, I just say “thanks” and move on.
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i feel the need to tell people where i got whatever the compliment is on. like if it’s cheap shirt, i’ll TELL THEM that, which is probably unnecessary. although recently, i get the most comments on my shoes, which is kind of awkward because i only wear heels from aerosoles due to having old lady feet, so i either just say “thanks!” or if they ask, i give a whole explanation about how they’re old lady shoes from aerosoles, which i should probably stop doing.
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I used to be the same way as both the irritating “I hate this part of me” and the detail-giver until somebody responded to one of my compliments with one back.
“I love that shirt!” “Thanks, you are so kind to say that!”
It might take some practice, but you’ll get the hang of it soon. It’s a great way to brighten their day!
I’ve got my answer up!
http://garysaid.com/how-do-you-react-to-compliments/
It kind of depends…
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What a great way to recognize a compliment! I’m probably guilty (ok definitely) of brushing off a compliment, this is such a better way to acknowledge someone’s kindness!
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Hm. I’m from an Asian culture, and we’re taught to dimiss and belittle ourselves, esp in the face of compliments. It’s still a habit I’m trying to get rid off.
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I think I do this too- where I say thank you but then cushion it with unnecessary information like “oh thanks! I got it for $15!”
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I find myself having to deal with compliments on a case-by-case basis depending on who they’re from and what they’re in regards to. Sometimes I’m perfectly fine and take them in stride. Other times I’m really awkward and fumbling to figure out what to say back. Compliments can be tricky. Really freakin’ tricky.
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Most of the time, it’s a simple return of “Thank you. I appreciate that.” If it’s more detailed, then I am more detailed, especially if there are related questions that spawn from the thanks given.
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I have a really hard time accepting compliments. Usually when someone compliments me, I have a snarky remark. I’ve been trying to work at it for a few years, and while I’m slowing getting better at just simply saying “Thank you” it’s hard! I don’t know what my problem is!
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I’m guilty of brushing it off; or adding more detail to the objection of affection. I think I do it because, for some reason, just a thank you doesn’t seem like enough. I don’t why I feel that way though.
I used to really struggle with receiving complements, but my roommate in college was this beautiful classy girl and I learned from watching her to just smile and say “Thank you” modestly and move on. I do sometimes tell people where I got it, if it was a dirt cheap deal, that sort of thing if they complement clothes/shoes/accessories.
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I am TERRIBLE at compliments…I get all awkward and angsty and wondered the other day if that is why I hate getting my hair cut…all the “OH, you got a haircut…looks good” comments. (It’s better than your hair looks like shit comments, but still).