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By kilax, February 5, 2010 4:56 am

What is your opinion on therapy? Have you ever been to a therapist? If yes, did you find it helpful? If no, have you ever thought about going?

This question is inspired by Stef’s Wednesday post. Check out her post for the full context, but this part stuck with me:

It saddens me to know that many people still consider it to be cowardly to seek treatment for mental health problems. Like some of the other commenters said, mental health should be no different than physical health. If I had cancer, would people tell me to just use my willpower to fight off the disease? Would it be shameful or “cowardly” to get chemotherapy? Doubtful.

I instantly thought about one of Jillian Michaels’ podcasts - she was talking about how we have coaches for sports, and mentors at work, but there is still a stigma behind therapy, when really, it’s just a “life coach.” She said we should ALL have life coaches. I really love that comparison.

And that is how I think about therapy now – as coaching, or guidance. It’s someone you talk to, who is able to look at your situation from a different perspective. Sometimes you need this outside perspective, sometimes you can see it on your own. But either way, there is nothing wrong with seeking help. We all get in bad places from time to time, and are not always able to pull ourselves out on our own.

I have had 50/50 luck with my three therapy experiences. I had an awful therapist my sophomore year of college. I was dealing with the stress of just getting into the grueling architecture program, and she didn’t really listen to me, or give me any useful feedback. I quit seeing her.

During my junior year of college, I was still dealing with anxiety, and really connected with my second therapist (I believe making that connection with the therapist is so important – if you don’t feel it, it’s not going to work), and was making a lot of progress… but then we had a meeting with my parents and she told them something I specifically asked her NOT to. So, I didn’t trust her anymore (you can read more about that time in my life here – I discuss an anxiety drug she put me on).

My last therapy experience (last summer/fall) went really well, and I felt like she helped me see things in my life from a different perspective, and help me balance out my moods a bit more and NOT strive for perfection (I’m just a little bit Type A!*).

So, I do find therapy helpful, but it is kind of about what YOU bring to it. And since I tend to get there and just SPILL it all out, I think that has helped me.

Do you want to hear my thoughts on my last therapy experience? Click “continue reading” to read more…

Continue reading 'Friday Question #99'»

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By kilax, January 29, 2010 5:10 am

What hobbies would you pursue if money was of no concern?

This week I was talking to Erin about how I wanted to make a saffron couscous dish but decided not to when I saw that saffron was about $10 for a freaking teaspoon. In fact, I could not even tell how much saffron was in the jar. It was a normal, tall glass spice jar, but it just had this teeny little black bag in it. Ooo… how much is in the little black bag?!?!?!

I told Erin it will be nice when I am older, have more money saved up, and don’t have to fret over buying a $10 jar of spices.

So, of course, this got me thinking… what hobbies would I really get into if I didn’t have to worry about the money?

• Cooking with lots of different, exotic foods/spices
• Travel (DUH!)
• Skydiving (solo!)



• Target Shooting
• Scuba Diving
• Photography*
• Yoga*
• Pampering Myself* (spa, massages, regular haircuts)

I wonder if we will share any of the same things on our lists!

*Hard to know, since I cannot afford to get into them NOW.

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By kilax, January 22, 2010 4:45 am

Do you ever dine alone in restaurants? If yes, do you like it, or feel awkward? If no, why not?

I got used to dining alone when I lived by myself in Rome. I mostly ate at home, but every once in awhile, I would get a small meal for myself and sit and eat it in the restaurant. It is completely different there though! Sitting and eating in a restaurant in Rome means sitting outside in the sun, watching the Italians and tourists in their daily activities.

Now, I only eat alone in restaurants if I am traveling for work. I like it. It’s nice to sit down and relax for a bit, and not have to talk to anyone. The only problem is that I tend to eat even faster, since I am not talking to anyone.

I think a lot of people don’t like eating alone in restaurants, hence the article “How not to feel humiliated when dining alone.” The article gives 8 tips on how to make dining alone more pleasurable:

1. Be Bookish – come with reading material
2. Try the Bar – eat at the bar with other singletons
3. Exude Confidence – be proud of the fact you’re eating alone
4. Eavesdrop - tune in to other conversations for fun
5. Befriend Your Blackberry
6. Go, Team!- get involved by watching sports
7. Think Like a Food Critic – pretend you are reviewing the restaurant
8. Life is Short, Enjoy the Steak Tofu – relax and enjoy yourself

What tips would you add? Here is my tip – don’t force yourself to eat alone in a restaurant if you don’t want to!

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By kilax, January 15, 2010 6:17 am

Do you plan out your meals for the week? Or do you eat on the fly?

Here is what I am trying to figure out – how you all do it. So many bloggers I read say they plan out their meals for the week (that was a big tip on last week’s Friday Question) – it saves them time, money (they can stick to a shopping list), and helps them stay on a healthy diet. Maybe the question should be:

How the hell do you know what you will want to eat a week (or a few days) in advance?

Seriously! Steven and I have list of meals we rotate through (in no particular order), but some nights, we don’t know what we want to eat. We have to discuss it. We have certain staples we keep in the pantry that allow us to make dishes on the fly. And we do tend to cook more over the weekend so we can use the leftovers during the week, but we never sit down and plan out our (dinner) meals. It’s more like a phone call (or email) at 5:00 pm – “Thai sound good?” or “How about pizza tonight?!”

I do tend to eat the same thing for breakfast and a rotate through similar items for lunch. I guess I am assuming people are talking about planning their dinners?

Note: After writing this, I read Kara’s post on the same topic! She is setting a goal to start meal planning. Check out her post!

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By kilax, January 8, 2010 4:26 am

What are your tips for reducing spending?

Two Mondays ago, I mentioned that we cut back on spending in 2009, and Chez Julie asked me to share some of my tips. What a great idea!

I have a lot of tips and I bet commenters will too – so don’t feel bad if you can’t read them all – PLEASE SHARE your ideas!

I broke my tips into three categories: Shopping, Entertainment and General. Click “more” to read (skim, really) on.

Continue reading 'Friday Question #95'»

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By kilax, January 1, 2010 11:57 am

What was your biggest accomplishment in 2009?

I saw this question yesterday all over the blogosphere and loved reading everyone’s answers, so I would love to hear yours as well!

When I was answering this question yesterday, I kept saying that the accomplishment I was most proud of is running my first half marathon in under 2 hours and feeling great afterward.

The more I think about it though, I think maybe my biggest accomplishment was dealing with the setback of being injured and not being able to run, and coming back from that by the end of the year. And not just coming back to running, but getting myself out of a funk.

I hurt my wrist in July, which didn’t affect my running that much, but I had to keep it in a brace and I became very frustrated with doing things around the house. I stopped taking care of myself as well. I really shut myself out from my friends in August. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone – I didn’t feel like I had anything positive to say. I had to stop running completely in September, and I ended up spending two months not being very active.

I’m not telling this very well, but I was in a super funk for a few months of the summer, and finally came out of it in the fall (I think after we watched the Chicago Marathon). I learned a lot about my body and what it can and cannot handle. I learned how to be more open with my friends. I learned how to handle stress better.

I really feel like I’ve turned a corner, and made some huge accomplishments towards being more stable in my health and emotional-state. I am really hoping 2010 won’t be as bumpy of a ride! But if it is, I feel like I’ve learned some new tools on how to handle it.

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By kilax, December 18, 2009 5:35 am

How do you find new blogs to read and what makes you subscribe to a blog? Or is your feed reader maxed out with “no vacancies”?

I love having a lot of blogs to read. I spend 2.5+ hours on the train on weekdays and it keeps me entertained.

And I feel like I have been finding a lot of great ones lately! My method on finding new blogs is by reading the comments on the other blogs I subscribe to (when I have time or the topic is really something I want to see what people are saying about)… if someone is saying something I can relate to, I go check out their blog. And often, when I am there, I may find links to other blogs I may enjoy. Sometimes, I can’t even remember how I ended up at a blog in the first place!

The first thing I do when I go to a new blog is check out their “About” page. Then I usually check out their writing style and see if the topics they talk about interest me. If they do, I put their blog in a “TBD” folder in my reader to check out for awhile and see if enjoy their blog.

Of course, from time to time, I get new commenters, and I always go check out their blog as well, and often, I end up subscribing.

I go through phases where I am looking for new blogs to read, just for fun, and then I go through phases where I cannot stay caught up with reader, and am not looking at all. And of course, I continually purge – I unsubscribe to those that ended up not suiting my taste. If I didn’t do that, I would get way too overwhelmed. Reading blogs is supposed to be fun, after all!

I have been continually updating my blogroll, and may move it to its own page at some point in time. I’ll keep you posted. (Does anyone else look at blogrolls besides me?)

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By kilax, December 11, 2009 4:12 am

Tell me all about your holiday gift-giving! To whom to you give gifts? Do you make them or buy them (in stores or online)? Do you have any gift-giving traditions? Do you participate in gift exchanges? Do you share a holiday wishlist with friends and family? Does all of this STRESS YOU OUT?!

We usually buy* gifts (in stores and online) for all of our immediate family and grandparents. But we are cutting back this year. In my family, my three siblings and the three significant others all drew names. Steven is buying a gift for my older brother’s wife and I am buying a gift for my younger brother’s girlfriend. Then, we are only buying gifts for our parents and Steven’s brother. I thought I would feel sad about this, but actually, I feel RELIEVED and not stressed at all. Instead of buying a lot of gifts, I get to focus on the one specific person whose name I drew! Edited to add: Steven and I exchange gifts every year, but have not decided if we will this year or not. Not because we don’t want to, but to save money.

And I am ALL ABOUT the wishlists. I created two separate wishlists this year for me and Steven – one for my family and one for his. And we asked for them in return, especially for the people whose names we drew! I know some people think having a wishlist means you don’t get to be creative, but I just think it means you know what the person actually wants. If I am spending money, I want to make sure it’s well spent.

I am participating in Morning Runner’s gift exchange. I got paired with RunningLaur and am sending her gift off today! Here’s a sneak peak, Lauren! You’ll have to guess if you are getting the gray item or the pink item.

*I do LOVE to make people’s favorite treats and give them to them as well.

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By kilax, December 4, 2009 5:54 am

Would you rather live somewhere where the you see significant changes in the seasons throughout the year, or where it pretty much stays the same? What is your ideal daily temperature?

I’m back and forth on this. And my answer definitely varies depending on during which season you ask me! I enjoy the snow, and don’t mind the colder temperatures, but four+ months of it gets to be a bit too much for me! Ideally, I think I would like some place where each day has a decent amount of daylight, the temperature is usually above 70° (although that’s not ideal for running) and it’s not humid. Maybe we’ll get there someday. It would be great to live somewhere where I could exercise outside everyday of the year.

Ah, snow.

This morning, while I was getting ready to leave, Steven sleepily asked if it snowed. I looked outside and sure enough, it had! Good thing he asked me – I would have been pressed for time if I hadn’t known about the snow. I asked him how he knew it was going to snow (he usually doesn’t keep track of the weather) and he said he could “sense evil.” Ha ha.

So I went outside and found this

which meant I had to wear these

and do this.

Yes, I could live without snow. And also, without the hidden layer of ice underneath the snow. Very tricky, mother nature.

My car has a “snow” switch (and AWD) which I think splits the power between the front and rear of the car (Steven, help)? I turned it on for shits and giggles this morning. I only slipped once on my way to the train station. Hooray! Snow!

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By kilax, November 27, 2009 7:51 am

What do you think of those airblown holiday decorations that people put in their yards? Cute or tacky? Would you put one in your yard?

I’ll admit – I think one, or even two, can be pretty cute.

But sometimes, people go a bit… overboard. I wish I had a picture of this place by Steven’s parent’s house, but I don’t. Anyway, year-round, they have 20-30 of these inflatable things in their yards. It’s ridiculous! I wonder if they ruin the grass by sitting there for so long.

It’s amazing how much these inflatable decorations have gained in popularity over the past few years. We definitely have quite a few of them in our neighborhood. I would put one up. Ha! I know Steven never would though.