On comparing yourself to others / Such a Pretty Fat Giveaway WINNER
I have been away (kind of) from my computer for about three days, and won’t be back home until tomorrow – so please excuse my absence in the blogosphere! I will be back in full force soon!
Do you ever catch yourself comparing yourself to others?
I rarely do, because I think it is kind of pointless. Everyone is completely different, so we all have completely different capabilities and talents! When I read about someone who is faster, smarter, prettier, whatever, I think about what I can learn from them. I feel excited that they are so good at something, and think of it as an opportunity for me. Ha!
But last night, I found myself mentally comparing myself to these two (on the right):
Me, Nick and Christina
Yes, my older brother and younger sister. They are both good at rock climbing. They are both faster than me. Wah.
We had a BLAST last night at the college recreation center. Eight of us went – my mom and aunt, my sister and her boyfriend, my brother and his wife, and me and Steven. We went to rock climb, but ended up playing racquetball and screwing around a bit. It was fun to be active with family!
But rock climbing was HARD for me (maybe I will write a separate post on it, along with a separate one for the snowshoeing we did during the day!). And I was a teeny bit disappointed in myself. Come on, I run, I cross train, I lift weights and I can’t climb this stinking wall to the top?! My brother and sister can and they don’t work out AT ALL! And we come from the same damn gene pool! Shouldn’t I be able to do it as well?! The three of us wondered why I was so bad, and if my other brother, who was not there, would be as bad as me. Well, I ran into him later in the night and he told me he had done that wall before and climbed to the top and “why did I suck so much?”
Ugh. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, I raced a 1/9th mile lap with my older brother at the rec center and he smoked me. And my sister raced him afterward and kept up.
Guess who lost?
I was feeling a bit down on myself for a bit. But then I changed my thinking – I looked at my perceived “shortcomings” as a challenge, something for me to work toward. I often do this when I don’t meet a goal when planned, like a weight loss goal. I just look at it as, “Well, that just means I have that much more to work toward! I should be excited to have areas to improve on. I know I can do it!” I readjust my goals.
Now, I know this is cheesy… but, it IS how I think about things when I feel somewhat bad about myself. So, hey, I can get better at rock climbing if I want. I can become a faster runner if I want – but only if I want.
I don’t know, for some reason, I find it reassuring to tell myself I still have ways to challenge myself. It keeps life interesting. I don’t strive for perfection – the idea of perfection is so personal. I just strive to keep challenging myself.
What do you do when you catch yourself comparing yourself to others? What do you tend to compare about?
Thank you for all of your entries on the Such a Pretty Fat giveaway! I had a lot of fun reading all of your book suggestions and blog comments!
I had my Aunt Sue draw the winner. Drum roll please…
The winner is…
Anna from Newlywed, Newly Veg! Congrats, Anna! Please send me your address and I will send the book and bookmarks your way!
Thank you to everyone who entered! I have another fun (I think) idea coming up for a giveaway so stay tuned!
Themocracy
Woo hoo!!!! Thanks so much!
I’m sorry the night had you feeling down…I definitely compare myself with my sis sometimes and it can leave me feeling inadequate in certain ways. But you know, I think that’s kind of what siblings do! I’m sure your brother and sister compare themselves to you in certain areas that make them feel inadequate and envious.
Glad you were able to turn the thinking around into something positive!
Congrats Anna!
Honestly I don’t compare myself to others but I do admire others for their many talents I don’t have.
I remember being in junior high and sitting on the track bus going to a meet with the team and as each person got on, I’d say to myself wow the shot putters, they are strong! Oh the high jumpers they’re amazing! and so on. Of course what I should have been saying too, maybe, was wow I’m a sprinter, aren’t I something? But I tend to be overly self critical.
Anyway, I think it’s great you and your fam had a fun time! And the most important thing is that you got out there and TRIED new activities. What sucks I think is when people won’t even try.
Different body styles allow us to be better or worse at different sports. Have you ever notices that shorter people are really good at doing pull ups where as tall people just kind of hang there?
I do compare myself to other people. I don’t believe it’s a negative action if used to try something new, to better yourself, or appreciate what you have. If you’re a “I want to be HER/HIM” type of comparison person, that’s not good. The result is inevitably disappointment.
Give yourself credit..you tried rock climbing! That’s pretty cool!
I think what Anna said is true…siblings naturally compare themselves. I’m glad you were able to enjoy the day and not let it get you down. I think its great that your whole family did that together!
Just as an aside…I don’t know how fast I’d me able to run after a day of snow shoeing and then rock climbing! You must have gone home exhausted (a good exhausted, but exhausted all the same!).
Yeah Anna!
I do compare myself to others because I am so competitive with myself. Sometimes I read blog where people are running 10 miles a day or going for 22 milers. Sometimes it is hard not to feel below…but I am learning that everything I do is for me. And what I do, as long as I am challenging myself, is enough. And I remind myself of my own words…Finishing IS Winning!!!
I don’t have any siblings, and that’s probably why I’m super-competitive about everything. (I think I’m great!) I compare myself to others a lot, and it’s such a bad habit. I need to remember to stop trying to figure out if I’m “the same size” as some girl because really, it doesn’t matter.
Rock climbing looks hard for sure. And I don’t think your picture looks like a fail at all!
Way to go Anna.
It si strange I don’t really compare myself to my brother because we have such different interests and Iw as able to see what my strengths were against his.
I tend to compare myself more with friends and peers but then, they may be doing the same.
I think we all compare ourselves to strangers or friends one time or another. Its hard not to but we all have our strengths and weaknesses. I know that if I see someone at the gym I usually watch them and see if they are faster than me on the treadmill.
I’ve had a hard time not comparing myself to friends who graduated and immediately found a job that they love. And I do it all the time with running speed and sometimes still with how people look, even though I work not to do it! I know I’m getting better though, and that it wasn’t like it took me one day to start comparing myself to others. It was something I learned, you know?
And your sibs may be able to smoke you in a 1/9th mile race, but I bet it wouldn’t be the same if they had to run 4 or 6 miles! 🙂 I’ve never tried rock climbing but I’ve heard it is really tough – do you have sore arms today?
It’s so lucky when you find a job you love right after graduation! That is definitely chance, I think 😉
Ha ha. I did tell my brother I could probably run longer than him. Surprisingly, my arms are not sore today – my knee is that I busted up two Saturdays ago!
I used to compare myself to others all the time which became a rather unhealthy habit. Nowadays I have the same attitude like you and am much more relaxed.
I love that you went rock climbing with your entire family! I wish we did that too but my dad and I are the only ones who really enjoy being active :).
& Congrats Anna!
That’s a though one to answer.. I can’t say that I compare myself to my sis since she is 6 years younger and in a different place in life than I am, but I do envy her for being able to run half marathons. I am similar to you as I see other I think of what is it about them that would make them better than me and try to see if that would fit me as well.
i always compare how i look to others. i know, it’s so lame, but i always do. my sister is gorgeous and way thinner than me! (i put on a shit ton of muscle.) sometimes i compare how others can lift more than me, but that just fuels the fire. =D
Whenever my family takes photos of ourselves I always compare them. My step-siblings and their spouses are just so darn photogenic that they cannot take a bad photo whereas Jason and I are lucky to get one good photo out of 20. Although, I’m beginning to think some of that is the photographer and not the subject.
I’m also really bad about comparing myself to myself. I tend to think things like “I was in such good shape at X time! I’ve lost all that fitness and tone! I have to get it back!” I don’t know if that’s true, but I think it all the time.
I was thinking the same thing as someone mentioned above–I bet it would be a different story if you all had raced a longer distance!
As far as physical activities go, I don’t compare myself. Those are things that I do for myself and my only competitor is me. There are things where I catch myself comparing, though.
Oh, I’ve done indoor climbing and LOVED it!
I would like to think I don’t compare, but I do. While I understand that we’re all different and have individual needs, I still look around to see what others are doing. With some things, I don’t care. For example, most people my age are having kids. Larry and I don’t want kids. I’m totally fine with this. However, I do tend to compare when it comes to food and exercise. I’m always looking for what I “should” be doing, what’s “healthiest.” I’ve hard to realize that it’s pointless. My needs are different than others. That’s ok. This has taken me a while…
Have a good start to the week!
You are an awesome and committed athlete, and you don’t need to compare yourself to nobody!
I don’t want to admit it but I definitely compare myself to others. It’s always physical traits too, like hair and makeup, even thinness. It’s silly really but I can’t seem to help myself!! I don’t typically make it very negative; only when I’m having a really bad day which isn’t too often…or when I’m about to go on my period LOL
I’m somewhat of a comparison queen. I KNOW it’s pointless and stupid, and I KNOW that I shouldn’t be doing it, but somehow my mind just seems to wander in that direction. Everyone is different, and that’s the way it should be… life would be so boring if we were all the same!! I just wish I would be able to apply that knowledge to my own thinking.
<3 <3
I dont compare myself to others very often, for the same reason as you.
But every now and then, I get jealous of other peoples success. When someone I went to high school with buys a house, or gets married, or has a baby I get jealous. I feel like Im behind at life.
I havent figured out yet how to stop it. I have stopped paying so much attention to these things on Facebook though. Thats a start right?
Getting away from facebook is DEFINITELY a good start! And don’t forget – people only write what they want you to read! (On FB and blogs). It’s a very distorted view!
I struggle with comparing myself to some people, but not everyone. It’s really weird! I know everyone has their plusses/minuses, but sometimes I compare myself to those who seem to “have it all.” Or at least, more than me. 🙂 It’s strange because I don’t really do this with my sisters (though I used to), except sometimes I do find myself comparing my eating and weight to my sister who used to have an eating disorder.
Comparing myself just leads to horrible thoughts – I’m trying so hard to get better! I LOVE your spin on it. We can take something that could very easily be negative, and spin it into a positive thing. I’m going to use that next time I catch myself doing it. 🙂
I compare myself to other people all.the.time and it is a horrible trait.
I compare myself to my brother all the time… probably not the healthiest thing, but I still do it all the time!
I frequently compare myself to others unfortunately. It’s not a good trait, and it’s something that I work on and am much much better about now.
What do you do when you catch yourself comparing yourself to others? What do you tend to compare about?
I used to do this a lot. It also helped feed into the negative, self hating dialogue that I had running through my head. Once I started getting help for my depression, and started putting some more positive thoughts into my head, I quit doing it as much. Every once in a while I still catch myself doing it but not as much.
I compared myself to other people over so many things, if they had more money than we did, better cars, houses and etc. Or if they had more self confidence than I did, or had more friends, or was a better friend. If they had a better personality than I did. So many things. I would say the majority of it was rooted in a complete dis-satisfaction in myself, and a load of self hatred.
I do this a lot, especially when it comes to running (as you know!). But unless someone is the exact same age and has the exact same genetic makeup, it’s a waste of time.
It has been very liberating for me to train for Hustle Up the Hancock because nobody I know has a personal record for stair climbing. I don’t know if I am going fast or slow, I am just happy when I supposedly climb 100 flights of stairs on the machine! 🙂 (also, I giggle to myself a little when people are going super fast and then have to stop after 15 minutes…I may be slow, but I’m steady!)
Yes, I do occasionally compare myself to others. Mostly to their lifestyles (engaged, married, homeowners, babies). I’m not even sure if comparing is the right word because I am honestly happy with where I am yet I’d like a chance to *really* have that.
It’s really a great idea to look at it as an opportunity to better yourself and rise to the challenge rather than just giving in.
I’ve never been rock climbing but it looks like tons of fun!
I compare myself to people when I’m at the gym because I’m nowhere near my weight loss goal. I’m not in shape, so I haven’t built up the stamina for long periods of cardio. I feel like people are judging me when I hop off the bike after 30 minutes. 🙁
I doubt they are! When I see ANYONE working out at the gym, I think “good for them!”
Here’s a question though; could they run a half marathon? Distance people cannot sprint as well as of course sprinters. They made me more cut out for short distances while you have the endurance & body for long distance. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway! 🙂
I have not “done this before!!!!” The only time I ever rock climbed was on the 20ft wall at Valley Fair when I was 13. That does not count!