How gifts makes us feel

By , December 2, 2013 6:14 am

I’ve been having this weird discussion in my head, so why not share it here, right?


Almost there! Still need to put up the Star Wars ornaments.

I really enjoy taking mental notes on my family & friend’s interests throughout the year, so that when it comes to a gift giving time, I hopefully gift them something they enjoy/that suits them. 

Of course, I have been thinking about this lately as I am ordering lots of holiday gifts, and hoping that I am picking the “right” things! I’m a bit anti-junk, and hate to think I would give a gift and the person would think “I don’t need this,” or, “what am I going to do with this?!”

At the same time though… I am reminding myself that this is one gift of an entire year. And! Gifts don’t define relationships. It’s how you act throughout the year. So I am really not that hard on myself, in my hunt for the “right” thing. 

So I was just going to post that sentiment. 

But then I thought about it some more. And despite saying that, and believing it, and trying to nourish relationships year-round, and through more than just gifts… it is true that when someone gives you something that is SO YOU, you DO feel really good (and maybe the opposite happens when they don’t?). At least I do. I’s nice when you receive something and think “Wow! They really know me and paid attention to me. This is something I love!”

And not to say “the thought doesn’t count.” It does. It really does. I just want to be honest and say that gifts can make me feel really good and loved. And that is kind of… sad?

Gah, the commercialization of this  season really makes things confusing, doesn’t it? And… I don’t see that changing any time soon. Or really even want it to. I enjoy buying gifts for people (year-round) even though I think we shouldn’t let that define a relationship (or, if you are religious, let it define this time of year). 

So, yeah. Just some holiday thoughts over here. I will continue shopping online now. Ha ha. 

6 Responses to “How gifts makes us feel”

  1. Anne says:

    Gifts don’t define relationships, BUT it is really cool to give or receive a gift that you know is just perfect! I love trying to think of things that people would love, and very often it’s stuff that they’ll later ask me for (which then makes it seem like not an original idea, but whatever). I also don’t let gifts define this season – for me, it’s a time when I get to see so many of my friends and family members, and being together is the important part :)

    • kilax says:

      Yeah, that is what the season is about for me, too. I have so many fun social events coming up… it’s nice to me that this is a time of year when everyone wants to hang out, and when I am in the mood for being super social! :)

      And I think it’s okay if something appears “not” to be original. At least, to me.

  2. Kiersten says:

    I too love to give gifts. It is just so fun to find something absolutely perfect for someone. I think because I enjoy it so much, it maybe makes me a little extra judgmental when I get something that it just not me. Like, I have said probably a million times to everyone I know that I hate white chocolate. And chocolate and fruit together. So if I get something white chocolate or chocolate/fruit from someone, I am like “have you ever met me?”

  3. Erin says:

    I think we’ve had this conversation before :-) It’s just tough when your love language is giving gifts and picking them out and sharing and seeing things and thinking of another person and then other people in you life are not like that. It doesn’t mean they care about you less, they just show how they care a different way!

  4. Michelle says:

    It’s so special (to me) when someone picks out just that perfect gift for you…and especially when it’s for no reason at all, other than to say, HEY, I care…xo

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