Solo runner thoughts

By , December 11, 2015 6:40 am

I’ve been without my training partner, Kelly, for over five months! Our last run together was June 30th. Wah! Ha ha.

One of our last runs together and Kelly’s new 5K PR!

I’ve been trying not to feel too sad about being apart from each other. (REPRESS THOSE FEELINGS – SO HEALTHY!) We text and call and keep in touch. We’re still close.

But moving in to this rental house, so close to where she used to live, I can’t help but think about how cool it would have been if she was still here and I could run to her house. And how nice it would have been to run together when I was dealing with all our house stuff, and let it out all to her (in person). And how much she helped me prep for the Dallas Marathon last year, and how much that helped!


The truth is, Kelly was my friend I saw the most, told things to first, and confided in greatly, just because of the way I communicate. I greatly miss that. Our runs kept me SANE. They calmed me in the early mornings before a busy day. They were a pick me up when we had one of those rare afternoon runs (“this is what you look like in the daylight?!” ha ha).

I prefer running solo, or with a training partner. I’ve been doing fine, training alone these past months, but I do feel like I need to get some thoughts out of my head during a run – to another person! But you don’t really pick up someone during a running group to do that with, you know? The history of the friendship helps. You can let your crazy out, and it’s all good.


Writing all of this makes me think about how open I was with Kelly, and how reclusive I’ve become lately. I hate that I’ve become that a-hole person keeping things (about the house stuff) private, that don’t need to be, but I do anyway, because I just can’t talk about it anymore. And if I update you, I’ll likely have a different update tomorrow, and I also hate being that person who says one thing then it’s different the next day. So I don’t say much, unless you catch me in person.

I’ve been in my own little world, dealing with house stuff, and I haven’t done the best job of being emotionally available for other friendships. I am ashamed of it, but optimistic that things will calm down soon so I can put more effort back toward communications. They will.


And I will continue to hope my training partner moves back some day!

25 Responses to “Solo runner thoughts”

  1. Kiersten says:

    I have totally been that person this fall. I’ve just had so much going on, but instead of turning to my friends (or seeking out running buddies) I just became reclusive. It’s so hard! I know on some level that it is not good for me, (and it makes me a terrible friend) but I just can’t snap out of it! Hopefully things will turn around for both of us soon. Or you could just move to Maine and solve both our problems!

    • kilax says:

      Isn’t it hard to snap out of? It’s so silly! How much more of your nursing program do you have left? I am guessing that is what is burying you! I hope things turn around for us both too! I will have to ask about moving, since we are buying a house here!

  2. bobbi says:

    This post made me sad and hopeful at the same time.

    Sad, for you, because i know you miss Kelly. And sad, for me, because we used to train more together and I’ve missed that too.

    And hopeful, because your new house is SO CLOSE TO ME. I hope we get to run so much more together next year.


    • kilax says:

      I’ve missed training with you too! I was going to write about that in this post, about how I am hopeful about running more with you since we’ll be close! Then it got too long. LOL.


  3. Karen says:

    What a sweet tribute to your friend Kelly. She is special to you and it is hard to find those we connect so closely with…you deserve some grief when there is a change. It is a season in your life, but all seasons change…

  4. Anne says:

    Sigh. I wish I was still running just so I could have run along with you on your easy runs while we were living just a few minutes apart! I definitely miss our run chats since I stopped running and was a total flake for a while last year.

    I’d say you can always talk to me (which you CAN!!), but obviously our conversations usually turn into you making me feel better. Let me return the favor on a walk or over coffee or something? 🙂

    • kilax says:

      When I was writing this, I was thinking how happy I’ve been when we’ve had our coffee dates and that I need to make an effort to keep doing them – so I was thinking the same about YOU making ME feel better! 🙂 🙂 🙂 A walk sounds good, too! And we are still close!!!

  5. Awww, I hope Kelly moves back soon, too! She sounds like an AMAZING friend, training partner, and confidante!

  6. Eric says:

    I totally get that Kim. I had a running buddy who became a real friend. And then POOF they were gone. At least you are in touch with yours…

  7. Kelly E says:

    I miss you soooo much too!! I can’t believe it’s been 5 months already. We definitely have a special bond that has left a terrible void in my days. I’m sorry I can’t be there to brighten your days. One day we will be together again and I can’t wait. Love and hugs!

    • kilax says:

      I was just thinking that today while running 3 miles on one of our routes… “How is it already 5 months?!” At least the time is going fast while we miss each other!!! I am sorry I can’t be by you, too. And I can’t wait to see you again and when we can be together again!!! XOXO

  8. Erin says:

    I’ve been enjoying running solo for awhile but, dang, I have such fond memories of the summer we trained for Milwaukee together! It was nice to have someone to talk to. Right now I don’t really have anyone that I see regularly and I miss that.

    Hopefully you and Bobbi are able to catch up once you’re more settled. And, hey, maybe you’ll see someone running and chase them down and become friends with them 🙂

    • kilax says:

      It’s a different way to train, right? Man, we had so much fun training for MKE! I liked how we’d almost always find some natural body of water for our ice baths after our long runs. Ha! And that Waterfall Glen run… lol!!!!

      Ha! Maybe I will chase someone down! I definitely will be close enough to Bobbi to run with her a lot!

  9. Awww, I’m sorry you’re missing your training partner. That’s gotta be tough. It’s one thing to run with people but you’re right, you can’t just go find up and find someone who you can talk to like that. I hope you two can run together again soon!

    Your marathon is this weekend, right? Wow that’s so exciting!! Best of luck!!! Do you have a goal for the race? Are you going to take time off after or do you have another race on the docket?

    • kilax says:

      I hope so, too! And really it IS nice that we sometimes run and chat on the phone, and… just talking on the phone in general (I forgot people still do that, ha!).

      Yes! Thank you! My goal is to PR (my PR is 4:20:36). I think I can run sub 4:00, but the weather is looking interesting so we shall see! So far, next year, I am only registered for one race – a 5K in February! I’ll probably cut back down to 40 miles a week, which was my goal weekly mileage this year (or maybe the universe will have other plans in store for me with moving again and projects at the new house and it will be way less!!!). 🙂

  10. Michelle says:

    I’m sorry to hear you are struggling. It’s hard when you have someone so close to you, yet they are far away too…Sending big hugs!

  11. HoHo Runs says:

    I do the same thing. When things get tough, I go inward. I call it “narrowing”. Maybe because I don’t really have that type of Share-all person in my life right now. At least not in person. I’m sending you a huge anti-narrowing virtual hug.

    • kilax says:

      That is a good phrase for it! I used to be so so share-it-all then got burned… not everyone has your best interests in mind. But I narrowed too much. LOL. Thanks for the hug!!!!

  12. Mica says:

    This is interesting! I’m the world’s biggest baby and complainer, so if anything goes wrong in my life, everyone hears about it. I wish I could keep more to myself and be less of a whiner like you! People probably get so sick of my complaining, so I’m trying to do better. But I see what you mean — keeping it all in seems like such a struggle and very lonely. Maybe you could pick just one thing to share when you’re feeling overwhelmed and that would get things going?

    • kilax says:


      I think I should do that. Or just work harder at keeping my close circle (like you!) informed. Then when I want to vent, it’s not coming out of nowhere!

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