I don’t hate people!

By , March 12, 2018 6:06 am

Despite this post making it seem that way!

I’m just in tune with when I need more quiet time than social time, and that’s how this month has started, and I’m feeling good, because of it!

So, yeah – another (mostly) quiet weekend!

Friday got off to an awesome start when I checked the mail and the newest Runner’s World had my favorite runner – Shalane Flanagan!!! – on the cover!

I had to immediately text fellow Shalane-lover, xaarlin, about the cover

I’ve followed her career for a long time and love that she’s been in the news so much after winning the New York City Marathon. And I especially love her platform of encouraging and supporting her fellow women training partners to be their best and how that also makes her her best. <—Said poorly (what a surprise!), so read more about that here (pdf version here).

Side note: the state of the magazine industry makes me sad. Each issue of Runner’s World seems thinner than the previous one. This issue has a printed article of something I read online from them in August (the article is slightly different). It also has an  announcement that this is the editor-in-chief’s last issue (I think she was the editor-in-chief for a year or less?). Despite my complaints about Runner’s World I do still read it, and prefer to read magazines in print, but it doesn’t feel like I will be doing that much longer, with most of their content being online now. Who knows.

Back to Friday – I had dinner with Steven and Troy, then they went to a concert. I enjoyed visiting with them when they got back.

On Saturday I ran with Rachel! Then ran an errand and spent some much needed downtime with Steven – we hadn’t seen each other much all week. I took a nap (woot!) while Steven worked then we went out for dinner and picked up Murder on the Orient Express to watch.

This Mexican restaurant near us added a completely vegan menu a couple of months ago!

Steven had an early meeting on Sunday, and I am hoping us getting up early, and going to bed early Sunday night helps us fight the usual horrible feelings that come from switching to DST! (I still felt hella confused when it was so dark out when I got up this morning, hmm.)

Sunday was more working out, and errands. The exciting part of errands was when I randomly stopped at the Bath & Body Works outlet to see if they still had my second favorite winter candle scent on sale AND THEY HAPPENED TO HAVE MY FIRST FAVORITE SCENT OMFG (and my second one!)!!! I thought I wouldn’t get that scent again until November!!! <— very exciting moment for me (sad, I know).

I have a candle going most of the time I work from home, so I go through these kind of fast!  

And my Sunday was über exciting after that – chores and chilling with Steven. Ha. Yeah, I’m ready to reintegrate with society!

I’ve noticed me feeling the need for quiet coincided directly with going back to my old position at work. That’s because I’m frustrated almost every day by the work I do, and it makes me want to be alone after work. Conversely, It’s also because I am physically alone, working from home by myself a lot of the time. That makes me feel anti-social, which is odd, because I know what I need to help with that is meaningful connections.

So I need connections to feel better, but am so frustrated I feel like I shouldn’t be around people. Eek.

Luckily, I had and enjoyed meaningful conversations and connections with people this weekend! Now, to work on not feeling so angry during the work week that it seeps in to the rest of my life…

21 Responses to “I don’t hate people!”

  1. Chaitali says:

    Yay for being able to find the connection you needed over the weekend! And I’m with you on the magazine thing. It always feels like a relaxing treat to be able to sit down with magazines and tea (I think because it was only a vacation thing for me for a while) but now everything seems like it’s heading digital. I had no idea their editor was leaving already, it feels like she just started.

    • kilax says:

      It is SUCH a treat! I love leafing through the pages and deciding what to read first, and coming back to certain things later. It’s just so different from reading online. Even if I was looking at a digital copy of the same thing, it would be different.

      I felt like she just started too! Maybe right after the Chicago Marathon or something?!

  2. Kiersten says:

    I totally get it. I need a lot of alone time to recharge too. For me it is hard to find that sweet spot between getting enough time alone and spending too much time alone. When I don’t get enough social interaction I tend to fall into a pit and keep isolating myself. I’m sorry going back to your old position is so rough. Work takes up so much of our time, it’s hard to be good about life if you don’t feel good about work

    • kilax says:

      You totally get it – that is exactly what I do, too! We have the knee jerk reactions to too much interaction then isolate ourselves and want to keep doing it. At least we are aware though, right?

      Thanks. I hope work gets better after a few weeks, because it is affecting me outside of work (obviously, ha). I am hoping they will calm down with throwing projects at me and I can settle in to things a bit. Fingers crossed!

  3. kathy says:

    You know you should be able to get some running magazines for free through the library if you have an ipad (or anything you can put an ereader app on) FYI in case you don’t want to pay a subscription anymore.
    Someone called to my house unexpectedly the other day and while it was a nice surprise I felt kind of awkward and couldn’t wait for them to leave because it was unexpected…..I need my people time scheduled! I’m def more anti-social than you ha ha! But it is a weird thing where the more you isolate yourself the harder it is to be around people..I think being aware of what you need is the main thing. Hope work calms down soon

    • kilax says:

      Thanks for the tip! I don’t like reading magazines/articles/books digitally, and don’t mind paying for the magazines now 🙂 Good to know for when the print copy goes away though, ha.

      That would totally throw me off too! When people tell me their family does that to them often, I just can’t fathom it. Ha. And yep, the more you are alone, the harder it is to get used to people. Sigh. It’s a vicious cycle!

  4. Wow, I can’t believe the EIC of Runner’s World is already leaving! I Googled her, and the press release announcing her hire was dated June 7 of last year. That’s not very much time :/ I’d be willing to bet it’s due to Rodale’s sale. Rodale’s magazines (the former parent company of RW) were sold to Hearst in January. They did a bunch of higher-up reshuffling, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that had something to do with it (http://www.hearst.com/newsroom/hearst-completes-acquisition-of-rodale-inc-magazine-media-brands). Still, it is a bit of a jarring experience for the reader, especially since David Willey just left last year. Definitely does not project an image of stability. Personally, I wasn’t particularly crazy about the direction RW had gone in over the past few months (I was actually thinking just this morning how I missed their really in-depth, long form articles. All of the “you need to do this circuit and that circuit and the next circuit to be a good runner” two-page articles was not keeping my interest at all – though I haven’t read the most recent issue yet, so I can’t speak to this month’s content), so I’m interested to see what the change in leadership brings.

    • kilax says:

      Oh wow! I bet you are right! Thanks for sharing that link, and doing the actual research on the EIC. Jarring is the right word. I still felt odd from Willey leaving! That seemed out of the blue!

      I do not like where they’ve been heading for the past few years. They even said they were trying to make the magazine more like the internet, which to them, meant more scattered, shorter articles (they said something along this line, seriously). I also miss the long format, in-depth, actually interesting stuff, and don’t care which strength workouts they think I should do (ha, I do think that should be in there though, it’s just not for me). And I think you actually like the long-arse quarterly shoe review but it does nothing for me, ah!

      • omg, no, I do not like those shoe reviews at all! The only thing I like about them is that they make it easier to get through the issue quickly because I can skip like 15 pages of content! Hahaha. I don’t understand the point of them at all. I mean, advertising and keeping up a good relationship with the shoe companies, I suppose, but from a benefits-the-reader perspective? I am most certainly not going to buy running shoes because a random reviewer in RW liked it!

        • kilax says:

          Ha! Ha ha ha! Who the hell does then?! Someone told me they did, and I was like “huh?” I don’t get the point either, cause I know what I like, and am not a runner who feels like they constantly need to be buying and trying new things. You know, I bet some people really do like reading about new products (and random people’s views on them) but not us!!!!

  5. Anne says:

    You forgot the caption under the candle pic, where you texted a fellow BBW candle lover lol 🙂 I stocked up on wallflowers when I was there last week (current favorite is Bourbon Butterscotch, mmm) but do need new office candles too! There’s an outlet in Indiana, en route to Chicago, so trying to hold off until I can stop there in a couple weeks!

    I totally understand the conflicting feelings of not wanting to be around people even though you know being around people would make you feel better. There were definitely times this winter where I wanted to stay in my shell and be alone, but then I had to go to work for a few hours. And I felt better afterward 100% of the time.

    I’m glad you had a couple quiet weekends and feel like being social again! I do hope you can figure out how to not let work stress/crap seep into the rest of your life. My work used to be like that too, and somewhere in the past few years I just stopped letting it get that way (wish I had advice for HOW to do that other than NGAF ha ha ha).

    • kilax says:

      Ahh! I did! Sorry! How are the wallflowers these days? I had such bad luck with them in the past, lasting very long, then having the actual electrical part break on me within a year. Are they better? I am excited to see what candles you get! We can go to the one here too, if you want 😉

      Thanks for understanding! Isn’t it such a weird thing?! Like you know it would be better to be social (with the right kind of people only) but you just can’t imagine it.

      I need to figure out something for work. It might be to stop GAF but that is hard for me. I take pride in what I do and want to do well and get so mad when everything is a freaking mess all the GD time.

      • Anne says:

        LOL don’t worry, just poking fun 😉 All of my wallflower plugs have been just fine, and we’ve been using the Sweet Pea refills you gave me last fall! That was my old favorite scent (for shower gel and body spray), so it’s been fun to have that again. Ooh, and we could go up to your outlet if we have time! I like the one in Fremont, IN because it’s just about the halfway point of the trip, so a good place to stop to walk around, use the bathrooms, etc.

        Yeah, there’s a lot of times when I know doing XYZ would be so good for me, but I just don’t feel like it. Or I don’t want to feel better lol

        I get that too – I do still take pride in my work and want to do a good job, but I don’t let it bug me outside of work hours I guess. So I only care up to a point.

        • kilax says:

          Yay! I am glad they are working and you are using the ones I gave you! That is the PERFECT halfway point. I wonder what else the outlet has. I went straight for the candles and left. Ha!

          Yeah, sometimes you do just need to let the feeling sit for a bit and not work on feeling better. Not to force it, right?

          I am totally great at forgetting about work on the weekends! It’s the week nights I need to figure out. And I hate that now I don’t want to talk about work again (when people are polite and ask) cause it makes me so stabby. When I was on my detail, I liked talking about it. It’s confusing to people, and it makes me seem touchy (which, I guess I am!).

          • Anne says:

            The outlet usually has a lot of the “retired” scents of shower gels and lotions. Otherwise it’s mostly the same stuff as the regular stores.

            “Don’t force it” seems to apply to just about everything in life, but that’s a topic for another post 🙂

            Hmmm. Maybe give yourself a little time after work to be annoyed by work (say, while you’re running or hitting the bag) and then let it go until morning. Easier said than done, I know!

  6. Shelley B says:

    I know how you feel – some days I won’t speak to a soul, and while I know that’s not the best thing for me, to isolate for too long, it does feel indulgent at the same time. Hard to explain.

    I walked by a Bath and Body Works today and thought of you! Now that is a funny connection – “oh hey, that blogger I’ve never met in person loves this place” LOL. But see, I wasn’t wrong…and that was before I read your post!

    • kilax says:

      I get it though! No explaining needed here! Do you find you feel energized after your days working in the shop and meeting different people?

      Aww, I love that you thought of me!!!! Hee hee.

  7. Mica says:

    Boo to RW going downhill (more than it was when I was still reading it)! Do you read any other magazines (and are they similarly disappointing these days)?

    That’s awesome that you could stock up on candles in your favorite scents! I love when things work out that way. My mom just gave me some nice candle holders, and we’ve really been enjoying having them going during dinner. It’s kind of a frivolous thing (since we don’t NEED them for light), but they do really add a lot to a room.

    • kilax says:

      Crazy that it’s gone even more downhill, right? I let most of my other subscriptions expire. I was thinking about subscribing to Outside, but am not sure. Are you receiving any, anymore?

      Thanks for being excited for me! I’d love to see your new candle holders! It’s totally frivolous, but makes a home feel more homey, to me! Do you use scented candles, or no?

  8. Xaarlin says:

    Team shalane for ever!!

    I love her platform too- plus that she has interests outside of running!

    That Mexican food looks amazing!!!!

    • kilax says:

      Yes! She seems so level headed and focused and just AHH I LOVE HER! If she ever does a training camp we are dropping bank to go!!!!!

      It was! It was my first time having flautas!

Leave a Reply

Panorama Theme by Themocracy

50 ‘queries’.