Why start comparing now?
Warning: this post is about body image. Please don’t read it if you find these discussions triggering.
Also, I am NOT fishing for compliments here – just sharing my thoughts and hoping to hear yours.
I like to think that I have a great relationship with my body. In fact, I sometimes think it’s too great – too lax. All of these years that I have been up and down in weight (and I mean, drastically up and down) I have been really easy on myself. I didn’t worry about my weight too much. I wasn’t too embarrassed. I was annoyed when clothes were tight, but I still went out in my swimming suit. I even posed for pictures!
Lately I have been trying to eat healthy and keep working out. I want to get to a healthy weight and stay there. This is a lot different than my “whatever” attitude of before! I hope it sticks.
Anyway, Brian had new shirts designed for his Business (Essential Fitness Now) and gave us all one during our Wednesday strength class. We all posed for pictures, and I was really looking forward to seeing them. I have lost a bit of weight and was feeling slim and thought I might look nice.
GRC friend, Bobbi, GRC friend and me
I was so shocked when I saw the picture and all I thought was “My legs are so big compared to everyone else’s!” and “I look like I have a belly roll!”
What. The. Hell. Where did these thoughts come from? I have NEVER compared myself to other people in this unhealthy way before. Sure, I have said “I look nothing like my sister – she is taller and slimmer than me,” but I never had thoughts like this that made me feel bad. My best friend is a lot slimmer than me, and I have a ton of pictures of us together, but I have never thought anything of it. It just is what it is.
I was SHOCKED that I had these thoughts, and really ashamed of myself. And ashamed that they were upsetting me. That is so so lame.
I thought about it more, and it kind of feels like making excuses, but I have such a different body type than the people in the picture. I am larger and more muscular. I will never bee teeny tiny. And I don’t want to be!
But why did I have these thoughts? Why now? This is really kind of bugging me.
Do you struggle with comparing your image to other people’s?
And what is even more stupid is that these ladies are so cool and supportive and not competitive or judgmental about weight at all. It’s such a great environment to be in. Before class, they were even telling me how nice I look. So what is my deal?! I hate that those thoughts were in my head.


















