Have you heard of Williams Syndrome? I ran across this article What Happens When You Trust Too Much (pdf here) in my news feed, and with a title like that, of course I clicked through to read it.
Williams Syndrome is caused by deletion of 26 genes at conception, and has several telling characteristics, but this article focused on the behavioral components – extreme friendliness, social interest, empathy, and distraction – and how these components might affect someone with this syndrome in the workplace.
Work is an arena where relationships are forged, and alliances are built. The modern office is a test lab for social discretion, where we quickly learn who we can trust, and who we should avoid. But for individuals with Williams Syndrome, who often trust indiscriminately, this can be a problem.
The article spoke of how it’s easy for employees with Williams Syndrome to be taken advantage of, because they tend to have a decreased sense of social threat and they want to please others. So it wouldn’t cross their mind not to pay for someone else’s lunch (or loan them money, or work more or who knows what else).
Well… this is a long arse intro to what reading this article made me think about – a movie I just watched. Ha ha.
UPCOMING SPOILER ALERT!!!
Have you seen Nebraska? While it had some funny parts, I actually don’t recommend it. It’s too brutally honest. Too painful. You know that dreaded feeling of being forced to do something you don’t want to, but have to out of obligation? That is what watching most of the movie felt like, for me. I mean, there are some heart-warming parts, definitely, and the movie is done well, but mostly… it just made me feel sad about families. And Kim no like feel sad.
Anyway, on to the SPOILER. The premise of the movie is that Bruce Dern’s character thinks he won a million dollars in a Mega Sweepstakes Marketing prize, because of a letter he got from them in the mail. Everyone in his family knows it’s not real, but he insists it is, and keeps trying to walk from Montana to Nebraska to claim his prize. One of his sons sees how distraught he is over getting to Nebraska, and decides to drive him there. There is character development and all that, and some good ole father/son bonding, but in the end SPOILER RIGHT HERE when they get to the Mega Sweepstakes Marketing office in Nebraska, it turns out he did NOT win. The “code” in his letter was not a winner.
So the son is talking to the receptionist in the office, asking if this happens a lot, and she tells him that mostly elderly people come in to claim their winnings. She asks if his father has Alzheimer’s.
“No,” he answers, “He just believes what people tell him.”
“That’s too bad,” she responds.
END SPOILER
Gah, that line made me feel so sad. First of all, that someone would say “That’s too bad” when you are talking about how trusting someone else is. And secondly, that, yeah, you can’t really be 100% trusting, all the time – whether it’s because of a syndrome you have, or because that’s just the way you are, or whatever reason.
So. That is how my brain works. Read that article and it linked me back to that movie. Why I felt the need to share both here and not edit one out? Hee hee – I thought they were both interesting.
But on to the topic of trust. I know people who are overly trusting in real life. Believe anything they are told, even if it’s clearly a scam. Incredibly nice people, but gullible in a very scary way. I remember a friend being outraged when they found out a scam they were told wasn’t real. I tried to be empathetic, but it was hard, as I recognized the situation as a scam from the beginning.
I think in our digital era (*giggle*) it’s smart to be skeptical and question what you read online. But it makes the world feel so harsh, when you take that skepticism everywhere you go. When you start to second guess everything. When you don’t even make eye contact with people in the street because you think they are going to ask you for something.
And I put that quote from the article about the workplace in this post because I absolutely believe that is what happens at work. I’ve told a few friends lately that I never understood the concept of people “having their own agenda” in the workplace. Like, how to do you have the energy to do that, outside of your assigned tasks? But wow, people really do. It sure is interesting, and yeah, you learn pretty quickly who you can trust.
So, which is it, right? Believe what people tell you? Or not?
I’m sure for you, just like for me, it’s very situational, and very dependent on the person. Hopefully, we all get to lean more on the trusting side than not, though.
Do you know anyone who you feel is overly trusting?
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