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By kilax, December 29, 2009 5:14 am

According to the article “Lose the Weight: Are Your Friends a Fat Influence?” in the January issue of Women’s Health, our friends’ health decisions have a huge effect on us. So huge that the World Health Organization has listed them as a determinant of health, having as big of an influence as genetics and income level.

When I read that, I thought “Ha ha! That doesn’t affect me!”*

But then I started thinking outside of the realm of the article – about how my eating changes when I am around family. Then it hit – holy crap… their habits do affect me. When I see someone eating more, I feel like I should eat more too. When I see someone with a full plate, I feel like my plate should be full. It’s just an automatic response for me.

The article says that:

Consciously or unconsciously, people look to others when deciding what and how much to eat, and how much weight is too much.

Part of the reason we’re so easily swayed may be hardwired. Gregory Berns, M.D., Ph.D., a professor of psychiatry and economics at Emory University, found that when others influence us, the area of our brain that makes conscious decisions is not activated. Instead, the occipital lobe, where vision originates, lights up. Translation: We focus on what we see other people doing (like biting into a cupcake), not what we know is right for ourselves (biting into an apple).

So, our brains are working against us. I can believe that. I know that I often feel like I need to eat, when I am really just “fake hungry” and looking to fill some other void with food.

And unfortunately, I could relate to this:

In some cases, we may even seek out relationships that allow us to indulge, says Susan Bowerman, R.D., of UCLA’s Center for Human Nutrition. “Many women have ‘food friends’ they can call up to say, ‘I had a lousy day and some fried mozzarella sticks sure would make me feel better.'”

I had a “food friend” in college. I could pig out around her and not feel bad. Unfortunately, it didn’t have to be after a “lousy” day. It was often a weekly date!

Of course, the article mentions that this influence can be beneficial as well – your friends’ good habits can rub off on you. And in the end, it is your responsibility to make your own decisions about food, no matter how hard that is.

Ugh. It is hard. But it’s important to learn how to live in the real world and not some imaginary safe place in your head. As private as we want our food consumption to be, it really isn’t in our society.

What do you think about the article? Do you feel like your friends/family influence the way you eat? What are your tips for dealing with “fat influences**”?

*Mostly because I don’t have many friends to hang out with!
**Their term, not mine.

Comments (34)

By kilax, December 15, 2009 5:08 am

My office’s holiday parties are this week. That’s right, parties, as in plural. We have a team lunch at a restaurant on Wednesday (there will be 6 of us), a floor potluck on Thursday (about 100 people), and the company party on Thursday afternoon (about 300 people?).

I don’t worry too much about the food and drinks. I know I will be able to get a vegan meal at the restaurant (I called on Monday to check) and I will bring my own food to the potluck and not have anything at the other party. Really, the point is to have fun and socialize.

And that is what I worry about, a bit. I know I will be fine socializing at the team lunch and floor potluck, because I know people. But trying to navigate the company party and talk to people is difficult. And I’m not shy! I’m pretty friendly and open, and am rarely at a loss for things to talk about*. I just have not mastered the art of joining a conversation already in process, and since our company has a lot of groups, that is a lot of what the party is. I aimlessly wander around, trying hard not to stick with just my group, but struggle to break into conversations with the few people I do know outside of my group…

There was actually a great article about social anxiety in the December issue of Women’s Health containing a lot of tips about interacting with strangers/coworkers. One of the best tips (which is not in that link) was on how to break away from a conversation, by saying something like “There are a few other people I’d like to say hello to. I had a great time talking to you. I’ll catch you later.” That is definitely something I’ve been trying to figure out how to tactfully say! If you’re not careful, you’ll be talking to the same person all night!

The other tips (actually in the link) were to “play mind games,” “try a new tactic,” and “work the room” (I guess you’ll have to read it for those to make sense!). But the tip I needed wasn’t there – how to join a conversation that has already started.

Are you attending any Office Holiday Parties this year? Do you look forward to them or dread them? Do you ever feel like you have a hard time breaking into a conversation? What are your tactics? Have any tips for me?!

*This could be seen as good OR bad.