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By kilax, December 15, 2009 5:08 am

My office’s holiday parties are this week. That’s right, parties, as in plural. We have a team lunch at a restaurant on Wednesday (there will be 6 of us), a floor potluck on Thursday (about 100 people), and the company party on Thursday afternoon (about 300 people?).

I don’t worry too much about the food and drinks. I know I will be able to get a vegan meal at the restaurant (I called on Monday to check) and I will bring my own food to the potluck and not have anything at the other party. Really, the point is to have fun and socialize.

And that is what I worry about, a bit. I know I will be fine socializing at the team lunch and floor potluck, because I know people. But trying to navigate the company party and talk to people is difficult. And I’m not shy! I’m pretty friendly and open, and am rarely at a loss for things to talk about*. I just have not mastered the art of joining a conversation already in process, and since our company has a lot of groups, that is a lot of what the party is. I aimlessly wander around, trying hard not to stick with just my group, but struggle to break into conversations with the few people I do know outside of my group…

There was actually a great article about social anxiety in the December issue of Women’s Health containing a lot of tips about interacting with strangers/coworkers. One of the best tips (which is not in that link) was on how to break away from a conversation, by saying something like “There are a few other people I’d like to say hello to. I had a great time talking to you. I’ll catch you later.” That is definitely something I’ve been trying to figure out how to tactfully say! If you’re not careful, you’ll be talking to the same person all night!

The other tips (actually in the link) were to “play mind games,” “try a new tactic,” and “work the room” (I guess you’ll have to read it for those to make sense!). But the tip I needed wasn’t there – how to join a conversation that has already started.

Are you attending any Office Holiday Parties this year? Do you look forward to them or dread them? Do you ever feel like you have a hard time breaking into a conversation? What are your tactics? Have any tips for me?!

*This could be seen as good OR bad.

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By kilax, September 13, 2009 8:20 am

I need a schedule. I need planned workouts to follow. Since the doctor has told me I can’t run (or use the elliptical) my workouts have been pretty lame, and infrequent. And it doesn’t help that they told me NOT to push myself when riding a bike. What is the point of working out if I am not going to feel all tired and drained and sore?! I’m so frustrated. I miss the ease of running. Hauling my workout clothes to and from the city, so I can use the office gym, is not convenient. But, it’s FREE.

At least I was able to get a little running fix from meeting up with a fellow running blogger, Mica, on Friday.

Kim + Mica + the Flamingo

I have to admit, I’ve had a pretty big girl crush on Mica since I started reading her blog. Her hilarious entries have caused me to laugh out loud on the train (where I always try to follow the rule “silence is golden”), and I may be guilty of talking about her a bit to Steven, as in, “Steven, you have to read what she wrote, it’s so funny, ha ha, snort snort, giggle.”

The meet-up was exactly how I hoped it would be! Mica was just as funny, honest, and real in person. I discovered I relate to her on a lot of levels, and that immediately made me feel comfortable around her. I love making connections like that. Plus, her boyfriend, Harrison, was nice enough to put up with me as well. He was just as friendly and open. Damn. Why can’t I meet more people like this who live here?

Thanks for meeting with me, Mica and Harrison!

And, thank you to all of you running bloggers whose stories I follow and keep me excited about running while I am healing!

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By kilax, August 7, 2009 12:45 pm

I am temporarily leaving my foggy/quiet state of mind to tell you that there has been a surveillance camera permanently installed my office’s break room.

To find out who is stealing people’s lunches.

I am serious.

Does anyone else find this hilarious?

Surprisingly, I have not yet been a victim. No one seems interested in my veggie sticks, hummus, and vegan hot dogs!

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By kilax, June 11, 2009 1:07 pm

I have an appointment tonight, as well as guests in town, so I decided to get my run in during lunch, in the office gym. I was really looking forward to it all morning, hoping that it would break up the monotony of the day and get me energized for the afternoon.

But instead of having a carefree, relaxing run like I usually do, I ended up stressing out about work issues and watching the clock the entire time. I had to rush to get 3 miles in, then shower and get ready to go back to my desk (in one hour).

It feels good to have the run out of the way, but it wasn’t the quality I wanted it to be. I didn’t get to de-stress at all.

My marathon training schedule starts next Monday, and I think I am going to have to fit lunch time runs in a couple of times a week. Maybe next time it will be sunny and NOT raining*, so I can get outside and enjoy the run more.

Warning: exercise seems to be one of the only things I feel like writing about right now, so you’ll probably get a lot of that.

*This is June, right?

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By kilax, April 12, 2009 7:03 am

What’s with the SUPER long posts lately? And having more than one post in a day? I think what I really need to work on is my blogging addiction!

Well, it’s Easter, so it must be time for the big recap post on Lent.

Basically, you can read this list here and just imagine that all it says is “give up sugar treats,” because that is ALL that I was successful at for Lent (since 2/25 – I didn’t cheat on Sundays). I did have a few granola bars with bits of chocolate, and sports beans, but other than that, I completely gave up cookies, chocolate, soda, muffins, candy, and so on… and I feel GREAT!

I am about to spend the day making cookies, but I don’t think I’ll eat any. I am probably going to wait and have a sweet treat after my office’s Biggest Loser Challenge ends on Wednesday (there are 3 boxes of Girl Scouts cookies waiting to be eaten in my house). I plan on staying off the soda, and only having it on special occasions.

As for the rest of the list? A lot of it had to do with attitude and communication. I didn’t progress very far, but I DID figure out a lot of what is bothering me and why, and I tried different ways to handle it. I think I am getting there! Already I have tried to tackle my frustration this weekend by communicating better.*

And the “frivolous items”? Well, I DIDN’T buy a single magazine or book, which is what I had in mind when I wrote that. But uh, yeah, I did buy new clothes (twice), running outfits, a new computer, and… a new car. Good thing I wasn’t buying any magazines, right? Jeez.

We cut back on eating out, not that we did it much before, but I think that can be attributed to the fact that we are so conscious of what we put in our bodies now.

What did I learn? I learned that I CAN reach a goal, but that it can be too overwhelming to try to tackle a lot at once (perhaps I should follow Nilsa’s “challenge a month” lead?). Upcoming goals for me include really committing to cutting out swearing, and trying veganism, and apparently, working on my blogging addiction (any tips with that?).

Unrelated topic: My sister, Christina, was inspired to make a rainbow cake after seeing this set on flickr. Check it out, it’s pretty cool! Here are her photos below. I totally thought of Tori’s rainbow cake when she told me about this!

It looks like you just use yellow cake mix, then separate it and add food coloring to make the fun colors! Or maybe not food coloring? I am not sure what’s in those little white tubes.

Doesn’t it look so fun?! Christina’s so fun.

Yummy! I hope everyone enjoys it!

Christina made this cake to share with my family for Easter. They are all together, with my mom’s side of the family. I decided not to join them this year, so Steven and I are going to take it easy at home (If you can call him running 12 miles taking it easy! HA HA! I only have to run 6 today.).

I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

*”What’s bothering me?” you ask. Well, how nice of you to ask. Thank you. 1. My face is STILL numb and it’s bothersome to eat. 2. The kids in our neighborhood were damaging the trees in our yard yesterday, playing in the street, and harassing a goose. I went outside to talk to them, calmly and nicely, about all three things. I wondered why their parents were no where in sight, letting them play in the street! 3. We saw Fast and Furious last night, and once again, there were a bunch of very young children in the theater. One woman sat down and let her toddler climb up and down the stairs on his own. Well, of course he fell and started crying. There were 5 or 6 kids that probably got up at least 10 times (no, seriously) and literally ran up and down the stairs, very loudly. And the kids behind us would not shut up the entire time. I finally asked them, again, as nicely as I could, to please be quiet so the rest of us could enjoy the remainder of the movie. It was a fluff movie, but that experience really put me in an upset mood last night. 4. My frickin’ cat keeps waking me up at 6:00 am, and I can’t go back to sleep, and I am lonely, up by myself. (Data just goes back to bed!)

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By kilax, April 1, 2009 10:02 pm

I wasn’t looking forward to weighing in today for my office’s Biggest Loser Challenge. Last week, I weighed in during my “loss of appetite” phase and showed a huge loss of 2.5%. At the time, I even said “I know some of that is going to come back.” Sure enough, it did – 1.15% (along with my appetite, thank heavens)*.

You know what I say to all this? A big “Who cares?!” I’ve gotten so used to my body weight going up and down and up and down. If this challenge has taught me anything, it’s that my weight doesn’t directly correlate to ANYTHING. So I really shouldn’t give it ANY power over me. My body seems to be on a path of its own – a path that doesn’t follow a straight line and is impossible to figure out. Sure, my body generally responds well to eating healthy and exercising, but it’s been throwing a few challenges my way lately – ones that are probably not appropriate to discuss here. I’ll just say, I really want to trust my body, but I’m starting to second guess its intentions. It’s probably nothing serious, and doesn’t affect my running at all, but I think I will be seeing a doctor just to check in.

My second cousin Denise is participating in her office’s Biggest Loser Challenge as well. She’s been doing it for four weeks now, and I am super excited for her! She is making great progress in eating healthier and being more active.

She’s already had to play the scale mind games though. After a smaller loss (in comparison to a big loss the week before), she emailed me saying she was “really disappointed” because she thought she had lost more. She recognized that her clothes were loose but she still felt the disappointment.

I tried to be encouraging to her and share what I’ve learned doing this challenge – that the scale is not always an accurate representation of your hard work throughout the week. And she knows that! She’s obviously making progress because her clothes were loose**. It’s just so easy to let those numbers dictate your feelings.

I hope participating in the Challenge has as positive of an effect on her as it has on me – both physically and mentally. Already, I know her participation has helped me – it’s given me a chance to reflect on the challenges of adapting a healthy lifestyle from a friend’s perspective. Encouraging someone else, and following their progress has made me realize how important it is to have a healthy mindset about this whole process. I’m not explaining it very well, but sharing our struggles back and forth in email has given me a broader perspective on the meaning of living a healthy lifestyle. It’s also helped me learn how to overcome my own struggles.

And it’s nice to have my own cheerleader as well! Encouragement is always nice, and Denise is very thoughtful.

*My total loss so far is 11.25%.
**I much prefer kapgar’s method of following weight loss – by how your clothes fit. None of my size 12 dress pants fit me right anymore. They are all falling down and have too much extra fabric in the butt. So… time to do some more “interim” shopping.

Side Note: I published this at noon, but something was wrong with it, so I’ve republished it.

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By kilax, February 18, 2009 5:55 pm

It’s been four weeks since I started participating in my office’s Biggest Loser Challenge. We’re one-third of the way done with the challenge. So far, I’ve lost 5.21% of my starting weight.

I have to admit that the competition made me feel a bit different than I expected it would. I’ve been fine weighing-in in front of my coworker. That doesn’t bother me at all.

But when the results were emailed out the first week, and I saw that I was in the top three, I felt a bit of competitiveness. I saw that I was doing well, and wanted to stay in the top. That feeling didn’t last very long, but I admit it was there for a second.

And I wasn’t expecting my coworkers to be so encouraging about the Challenge, but they are. Participating has actually opened up a lot of communication about health and fitness. I found out another coworker loves to run, and that another group of coworkers walk the stairs in our building at the beginning of their lunch break. I am not sure how long these conversations will be around, but I enjoy participating in them (I even laughed when someone, who ISN’T participating, saw that I was in the kitchen making oatmeal for breakfast, and asked what I had… wanting to make sure I was still in the competition… uh… yeah).

The most interesting thing I’ve learned, now that a month is over and I have tracked my progress, is how little my weight actually has to do with how I feel, what I eat, and how much exercise I am getting. One week, I ran around 22 miles, ate like a saint, but somehow gained .2 pounds. The next week, I spent three days eating nothing but carbs and sweets – I was in Denver, and I was there to have fun. I lost 3.4 pounds that week. So, my body is on its own path. What I weigh on any particular day is just a flux number – it doesn’t really mean anything. It goes up and down based on my hormones, how much water I drink, if I eat salty foods… you get the idea.

It’s funny that tracking my weight like this, what so many people DON’T recommend, is what has made me accept that my weight is JUST a number. I hope the challenge continues to let me become more accepting of my body!

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By kilax, January 20, 2009 1:01 pm

Someone in my office is organizing a 12-week biggest loser (weight loss) challenge. You buy in for $12.  You weigh in each week by Wednesday afternoon (I’ll weigh in on Tuesdays). You pay $2 for each pound gained a week, and $2 if you miss a weigh-in without advance warning. To buy out of the competition, you have to pay out $2 for each week remaining. The cash prize is split between the top 3 losers in the end (55%, 25% and 20% – the winner is calculated by percentage lost, not total pounds).

This has “bad idea” written ALL over it, right?

Of course, I signed up.

I don’t think the idea of winning money will motivate me to lose weight. Or the idea of having to pay money for weight gained. And I don’t even think having someone holding me accountable will make me work any harder either. It might make me feel guilty if I gain weight, but that’s about it.

I think I just thought, “What the hell – I am training for a half marathon and pretty soon I will be putting in between 20-25 miles a week on the treadmill. I might end up losing some weight naturally.” We’ll see what comes of that.

Would you participate in something like this? It seems a bit too private to take to work, but because I’ve just started at this office, and barely know anyone, I don’t care if one person knows what my weight is from week to week.

Revealing it on this blog though, feels impossible. It’s not that I am embarrassed by it; it’s just information I would prefer not to share with family. They already know enough about me and my food struggles as it is, reading this crap. I feel like a number makes my problems even more tangible.