Comments (5)

By kilax, October 7, 2009 12:42 pm

It’s frustrating that running is not as easy as it used to be. I AM grateful that my shin doesn’t hurt (as much as it did before – a slight pain is still there) and I KNOW it will get easier with time.

But right now, my mind remembers how much I loved it and how easy it used to be. Then I get on the treadmill and it’s not what I remember. And I struggle – mentally – not physically.

Today I ran 1.5 miles. I wanted to run 2, but felt like I was pushing it, and as I mentioned, felt mentally defeated.

But, I am looking on the bright side – I can’t expect to recover instantly. And 1.5 miles is pretty good for someone who hasn’t been running in the past two months. I have to take small, baby steps.

I always feel encouraged when I work on in the office gym. Now, this is going to sound weird, but hear me out. I’ve noticed that most of the women who use the locker room are very comfortable with their bodies. They are not worried if someone else sees them naked. They even stand around and have conversations about exercise while they are drying off or getting dressed. I’ve never been too shy about my body, so this doesn’t weird me out (like it does some people). It actually makes me feel good about myself, seeing other women being so comfortable with who they are. Just thought I would share that…

Comments (11)

By kilax, March 3, 2009 5:32 am

On Sunday Steven and I visited Fleet Feet in Elmhurst. The employee who helped us was great – very knowledgeable, accommodating, patient and friendly. She did a gait analysis for both of us, recommended a few different kinds of shoes, helped me find a new sports bra, and talked to me a bit about Luna Moons (which I’ve really been wanting to try!) and different ways to carry water while we run. And when I mentioned I wanted to read one of the books they sell there, she hooked me up – for free!

You know what I was thinking most of the time I was there though?

I bet this girl is looking at me and wondering what I am doing in a running store. I don’t look like a runner.

What is up with that? I went there shortly after finishing a 6 mile run. I should have still be pumped and proud of that! I guess the endorphins wore off.

Why do I care if other people see me as a runner, when all that matters if I see myself as a runner?

I DO see myself as a runner.

The funny thing is, later that night, still feeling a little down, I opened up the book she gave us, and flipped to a random page. The first paragraph I read said:

It’s clear to me now that I’ll never have a runner’s body, no matter how many miles I run. Instead, I’m concentrating on having a runner’s soul.

Then, that chapter goes on about how running won’t make you have a “runner’s” body – your body is still your body. No amount of exercise can change the natural build of it. Running won’t make your legs longer, or your hips narrower. You have to be grateful for the body you have, and what it’s given you.

How true. That is the logic I am going to have to use to fight the body image battle.

This battle is constantly up and down for me. I don’t know if it will ever be over, but I do know that I’ve gained a lot of ground. The more tools I can to fight with, the better.