Comments (24)

By kilax, December 30, 2009 7:48 am

It seems like I am making a New Year’s Realization instead of a Resolution. Ha, ha… ha?

I keep putting myself on ridiculous schedules because I think it will help me out, when really, it just hinders me.

I have to STOP doing this. I have to.

Today is a perfect example. I am having lunch with a coworker and I also want to get a run in. I obviously can’t do it during lunch time anymore, so it would probably make sense to do it in the evening. No, that makes TOO MUCH SENSE, let’s get up at 4:30 so we can get to the office gym at 6:30 and put 6 miles in before work! Then, you get to run, see your friend for lunch, AND spend quality time with your husband when you get home!

It sounds so perfect when I write it all out, but Steven can tell you which one of these things doesn’t happen. By the time I get home, I am so tired from getting up so early that all I want to do is eat dinner and go to bed. I try to “relax” (how does one do that?) by sitting on the couch watching a movie, but I just feel exhausted.

And I keep doing this… why? It’s like I want to prove to myself that I CAN fit it all in to one day – working out, lunch with a friend, time with Steven, 3 hours commuting and 9.5 hours at work.

I can’t do it all. I can’t have it all. I have to prioritize. I have to be flexible/less rigid with my schedule. Ugh. I just need to learn HOW TO RELAX.

Friends, I have been fighting this for a long time. It’s what causes me to get burnt out and give up. I don’t want that to happen anymore. I am sick of yo-yoing with my weight, and really, with my life.

Do any of you ever feel like you are doing this to yourself? How to you stop/slow down?

Comments (5)

By kilax, October 7, 2009 12:42 pm

It’s frustrating that running is not as easy as it used to be. I AM grateful that my shin doesn’t hurt (as much as it did before – a slight pain is still there) and I KNOW it will get easier with time.

But right now, my mind remembers how much I loved it and how easy it used to be. Then I get on the treadmill and it’s not what I remember. And I struggle – mentally – not physically.

Today I ran 1.5 miles. I wanted to run 2, but felt like I was pushing it, and as I mentioned, felt mentally defeated.

But, I am looking on the bright side – I can’t expect to recover instantly. And 1.5 miles is pretty good for someone who hasn’t been running in the past two months. I have to take small, baby steps.

I always feel encouraged when I work on in the office gym. Now, this is going to sound weird, but hear me out. I’ve noticed that most of the women who use the locker room are very comfortable with their bodies. They are not worried if someone else sees them naked. They even stand around and have conversations about exercise while they are drying off or getting dressed. I’ve never been too shy about my body, so this doesn’t weird me out (like it does some people). It actually makes me feel good about myself, seeing other women being so comfortable with who they are. Just thought I would share that…

Comments (18)

By kilax, May 17, 2009 5:12 pm

Apparently, besides worrying about bugs flying down my bra and biting me (yes, that happened today), water from my hydration belt spilling all over my legs (felt kind of good), having to poo (always a concern), and a killer sunburn (totally my fault), I also need to worry about GETTING LOST while I am running.

Today I decided to do an 8-miler close to home, but I chose to explore the neighborhood north of ours (thought that would be FUN). Without looking at a map (first mistake!) I figured it was small and only had two entrances, like ours.

Uh, no.

About 5 miles into the run, I realized I could see a major street that I shoudn’t be able to see. And wasn’t planning on seeing during this run. I knew where I was, but only by the major street – and there was no way I would run on it because of the high speed limit. So I kept heading east then south then east then south (with one long accidental north) until I finally got back to an area I had run by earlier. I was kind of freaking out a little bit, because I was running low on water, but I felt reassured knowing I had my phone and could call Steven for directions. Ha!

Has this happened to any of you?

It was pretty funny when I got home and uploaded the map of my run – I had accidentally run into another neighborhood that I didn’t know was connected to the one north of our house.

If I am wearing a Garmin Forerunner 405, shouldn’t it tell me how to get back home? I mean, it IS a Garmin! It has GPS! Who knows. Maybe it can. I think the new model should have an actual map with directions as well as a thermostat. Just because that would be cool.

And you know what else IS cool? I figured out how to set up the 1-mile lap button on Jack so I can share my splits. Because they are oh so awesome. Not. I tried really hard to start out slow, but I still started out too fast and ended slower than I wanted. I need to work on that. Along with not getting lost.

Distance: 8.01 miles | Time: 1:14:05 | 1: 9:19 | 2: 9:24 | 3: 9:09 | 4: 8:58 | 5: 9:14 | 6: 9:12 | 7: 9:18 | 8: 9:20 | 9: 0:06