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By kilax, November 25, 2009 5:28 am

First of all, can you believe Thanksgiving is tomorrow? It feels like just yesterday I was looking for friends at the Chicago Marathon. The holiday really snuck up on me – probably because we aren’t doing much of anything tomorrow! Well, we’re running a 5K, maybe volunteering to box canned goods (if we aren’t all sweaty), checking in on Diane’s babies (cats) and picking up my sister at the O’Hare (returning from Cancun), but we’re not actually having the big meal until Friday, when we can celebrate with my sister and her friend.

What are your Thanksgiving plans? Traveling to see family/friends? Hosting? Sleeping in and lazing around all day?

On to Facebook. I’m sure you heard the story about the Canadian woman who says she lost her benefits (she was on long-term leave for depression) after her insurance agency found photos of her having fun on Facebook (story here).

According to the woman, Nathalie Blanchard, her insurance agent found photos on Facebook of her on holiday, at Chippendales, and at a birthday party, and that was evidence that she was well enough to go back to work. They cut off her sick-leave benefits this fall.

Blanchard says her doctor recommended she go on holiday to cheer up, and that she went when she was feeling particularly low.

The insurance agent said they would never deny a claim based on a website like Facebook. Blanchard’s case is going before the Quebec Superior Court next month.

What is your opinion on this story?

A few thoughts come to my mind. My cynical side can definitely imagine someone milking sick-leave benefits for all they are worth. Some people are just lazy and abusive of privileges like that – you know it.

On the other hand, I’ve been up and down in moods myself, and I know that going on a holiday is a good change of pace and way to cheer myself up.

Either way, it’s strange to think that photos you publish online could have this power. Of course, the insurance agent is saying they didn’t base it on that, and we can’t really know, but we do know that online photos have prevented people from getting jobs (and maybe dates, ha ha). Stories like this always cause me to stop and think about my internet persona. Right now, I don’t think I put anything risky or harmful (to my image) out there, but you never know how things can be interpreted!

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By kilax, October 9, 2009 5:50 am

Are you friends with your coworkers on Facebook? Have you found this to be beneficial (fun) or detrimental (annoying)?

Yesterday I mentioned that I was talking to a coworker about Facebook, and told her I don’t have any drunk pictures of myself on there. Well, on Wednesday she asked me if we were friends on Facebook. I told her no, that I am not friends with any coworkers on Facebook. She then added me to a list she was making (I assume of people to friend on Facebook?). I told her if she sent me a friend request I would decline it, because I am trying to keep my work and private life SOMEWHAT separate. Of course, she then had a thousand questions… and had to mention how she knew the reason I didn’t want to be her friend wasn’t because of drunk pictures, because I DON’T DRINK (ever, according to her).

Anyway, this got me thinking, am I being bitchy by telling her I would decline her request (and is that why she seemed so put off about the alcohol discussion Wednesday)? Is it selfish of me to want to keep Facebook more private and personal?

I really am not hiding anything on Facebook, except those awful bathing suit photos my sister posted of me. I don’t have any sort of secret life on there. I think… I have just exposed myself so much on my blog (which I keep from my coworkers, and link to on Facebook), that I want one place to keep for myself. I don’t want to have to censor the things I say on Facebook because I think coworkers might be reading.

It irks me when people want to be Facebook friends, but don’t even communicate with you. Sometimes, it feels like a popularity contest to me. I usually just get on to use the chat to talk to my sister. I sometimes think about deleting my account.

Anyway, I am thinking about creating a separate “work” Facebook account. Kind of. I’m kind of also thinking that I don’t really care.

As a side note, my sister created a Facebook account for my mom last week! I wish she would use it. We have been bugging her to get on Facebook for awhile.

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By kilax, October 8, 2009 5:03 am

A coworker was politely and continually inviting me to social work events that focused around drinking alcohol (Happy Hour, Booze Cruise, etc.). I continually, and politely, declined the invitations, because social drinking is not my idea of fun, and most of the after-work engagements would have me getting home after 10:00 at night.

This back-and-forth invite and decline situation continued until I found out I would be going on travel with this coworker for training, and she began mentioning hitting the bars after class. That is when I told her, “Drinking is not my idea of fun. I also don’t enjoy hanging out in big groups of people, which is why I haven’t been going to the work socials and probably won’t want to go out to the bars after class while on travel.”

I thought she understood what I was saying – that I don’t think of drinking as an “activity” or way of having fun. But I think she really took it as “I never drink. I am opposed to drinking. I am anti-alcohol.”

This came to my attention when she acted nervous buying beer at dinner (while on travel) around me. And when she seemed ashamed to want to go to Trader Joe’s and buy a 6-pack of beer. And when she timidly asked if I would mind if she brought a beer to my hotel room to drink while we watched TV.

Then yesterday, we were talking about Facebook (which inspired tomorrow’s Friday Question), and I said, “It’s not like I have any drunken pictures of myself on there*.

“Of course you don’t,” she replied. “You don’t drink.”

“It’s not that I don’t drink,” I said, “It’s that I don’t drink for fun.”

“Oh, so you drink to get drunk?” she was completely serious.

“No, I just don’t view it as an “activity.”

“Well, I don’t either.” She seemed offended.**

I was with another coworker, and we started talking about having a glass of wine now and then. For me, “now and then” is probably 4 times a year, tops. But, I have proof below! My mom, grandma and I had “wine-a-ritas” on my birthday this year. I am not opposed to drinking. One coworker seemed to get that. I am not sure why the other doesn’t.

Some people I work with drink every night. They come in smelling like alcohol. The coworker I am talking about does not do that, but she does stay out late on the weekends, drinking in the bars, from time to time. There is nothing wrong with that! It is just not something I desire to do. I try telling her that, but all she hears is “I don’t drink.” Is it even worth talking about? It’s not causing any problems in our relationship, I just get the feeling she thinks I am judging her. I’m not. We’re just different.

*This will make more sense tomorrow.
**It’s a big pet peeve of mine when people post long dialogue in their posts. Sorry.

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By kilax, January 6, 2009 12:23 pm

I’ve somewhat stayed in touch with my coworkers from Italy (I worked there summer ’06). Somewhat, as in, every once in awhile, one of us sends out an email. And, every once in awhile, as in, every six months…

So I was excited when a French coworker contacted me last week saying she was trying to find me on facebook. I know if we are facebook “friends,” our chances of keeping in touch with increase dramatically, because that is what a lot of people prefer over email.

I was looking through her photos and saw a group photo of all of our coworkers at the studio. I looked to see if I was in the photo.

Then I didn’t see myself and felt kind of sad.

Sad because it reminded me how antisocial I was that summer. I was friendly and talkative at work, but I didn’t spend a lot of time hanging out with friends after work.

Okay, I hardly spent ANY time hanging out with friends after work. There were only two occasions I went out with them – for my birthday dinner, and a night in August before we all departed for holidays (because the studio closed for two weeks in August).

My birthday dinner with coworkers in Roma. What a fattie I was! Ha! I miss that Italian bread!

I didn’t regret it then, or feel left out, or lonely. I was volunteering every night. I was super busy and super tired.

But now I look back at her photo, with a bunch of people smiling and having a good time, and I do feel left out. I feel stupid for being so independent.

I feel sad that I don’t have a large group of friends – now or then (or even before then). I feel sad that I don’t connect with people very well.

I like to think that I am outgoing and fun to be around, but I find myself at parties, keeping to myself, not feeling like talking to new people. I sometimes find myself being quiet around people I DO know (only sometimes, but still).

Lately, I’ve been quiet when a group of people are talking about something I know nothing about. And they keep talking and talking about it. Like gossip. Or a tv show I don’t watch. Or how drunk they were the night before. I try to stay interested, and involved, because I would expect them to do the same, but hey, they don’t! So, I just get more turned off and discouraged from reaching out to people.

Oops. I didn’t mean for this to turn into another rant. I just wanted to express how seeing that photo made me feel. It’s weirding me out that it made me feel this way.

Comments (16)

By kilax, December 16, 2008 9:47 pm

Is it annoying or cute when people discover facebook for the first time and won’t stop talking about it?

Today, it is annoying. It’s not a novelty anymore.

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By kilax, July 11, 2008 12:14 pm

If you had to wear only one pin everyday for the rest of your life, what would be on it/what would it say?

Using the “flair” application on Facebook made me think of this. It seems like the flair can actually be used to say a lot about yourself!

Kim’s Facebook flair

But what if you had to limit it to only one pin? I think mine would have something to do with my love and compassion for animals. Maybe this “I Love Animals” Pin? I think that says a lot about me, or at least gives people an idea of whether or not they’d like me!