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By kilax, May 12, 2009 5:18 am

I know some of you have got to be sick of all my running posts, but I really need to get this out there. And it’s not too brag, or gloat, but just to share my happiness.

I am at a point in my running where it feels so good to run. It feels so natural. I feel like I could keep going and going. I don’t want to stop. I look forward to my run all day long. I veg out on it. I let my mind wander. I let my body take over. I let it do what it wants to do. It feels right.

I really think my body wants me to be a runner.

I am trying to enjoy every minute of this, because I am aware of the taxing effect running can have on your body if you are not careful. I am aware that I could sustain an injury that would sideline me for awhile. I am really hoping that doesn’t happen, but I know it’s a risk, so even though I love running so much, I make sure not to run too much. I make sure to take a day off here and there, even though I don’t want to.

Yesterday was the perfect day, running-wise. I checked the forecast on Sunday, and knew it was supposed to be somewhat sunny, in the upper 50s around 6:00 PM, so I got up extra early, and got to work by 7:00 on Monday, so I could leave at 4:30 and run at 6:15. I saw the sun all day at my office, and on the train ride home, and I was just stoked. My neighbor decided to run with me (the awesome neighbor I am always writing about), so we chatted the whole way. We ran an easy 5 miles (around 10:00 minute mile pace), and pushed it the last quarter of a mile (between 7:00-8:00 minute mile pace). It felt great! He was so stoked when we hit 4 miles, then 5 miles when we ended, because he hadn’t run that far in quite some time. His excitement and energy rubbed off on me as well, so I felt even better.

I was done running around 7:20, and Steven was just finishing the end of the P90X Shoulders and Back and Ab Ripper DVD. I took a quick shower, then we made dinner together and were able to relax a bit before going to bed a little early! A perfect run, followed by a perfect night! I usually have to exercise after dinner, so it means a lot when I actually get to sit down with my husband.

I just wanted to share this, because I have been portraying a lot of stress here lately. And I am stressed, but aren’t we all? I don’t want to portray myself as an unhappy person – just your normal, “stressed out from time to time and trying to figure themselves out” type of person. It helps me relieve stress by writing about it here, but I don’t want you to think that’s all that I am about. I am actually very, very happy right now.

And I hope that all of you can find an activity that makes you happy, whether it is exercise or not! Something you really enjoy and make the time to do – something that you can just “get in the zone” of it and clear your mind a bit.

Comments (23)

By kilax, April 28, 2009 6:53 am

I’ve been tagged by Mrs. Smith. Here are the rules:

1. Take a pic of yourself right now.
2. No primping or preparing.
3. Just snap a picture.
4. Load the picture onto your blog.
5. Tag some people to play along. I don’t tag, but participate if you want!

This is me, when I woke up at 5:00 am, sans makeup! (See how wavy my hair is, Denise?!)

Of course, Data saw that I was snapping pics with my phone and wanted to get in on the action. I think he cheated though – he was definitely licking himself before he jumped into the photo!

See how tired I look? I look this tired ALL DAY LONG. Even though I put on makeup, try to get enough sleep and drink lots of water… I always look tired. Even when I don’t feel tired.

And… more blabbing – I love Jillian Michaels’s* podcasts. I often feel like she is speaking directly to me, about something I am personally struggling with. Already, I have been able to apply something I listened to last night to a situation this morning. More below…

Continue reading 'No primping or preparing / Why I love Jillian Michaels'»

Comments (14)

By kilax, April 27, 2009 12:11 pm

Do you ever worry about becoming someone you don’t want to be? Maybe you have a specific person in mind, whose actions you simply abhor… or maybe it’s just a collection of traits that you worry about.

I have both – certain influential people in my life, as well as a list of various traits I try to avoid accruing.

Lately, I haven’t been giving my emotions the attention that they deserve. I’ve been very quick to react to things. Rather then stepping back, observing and evaluating, I hastily make decisions, just to try to keep up with the pace of things. I’ve become incredibly impatient. I don’t want to sit still or slow down for a minute.

This is adversely affecting me at work and at home. And I am beginning to worry more and more about turning into someone I don’t want to be.

I know who I want to be: happy, healthy, someone that people think of as “nice,” fun to be around, a good listener, hardworking, reliable, friendly, funny, intelligent, approachable, attractive, easy-going, patient, understanding…

But how do I get there? And QUICK! before I go to far in the other direction!

I’ve noticed that when I actually do slow down and take time to think about what is going on in my head (why I am reacting to things the way I am) I find the cause of the “problem.” But sometimes I just want to ignore it. I just want to avoid it. How awful is that? Here, let me just shut my brain off for awhile and go on autopilot. Let’s see where that gets me. I don’t like where that gets me.

Comments (17)

By kilax, April 8, 2009 6:37 am

I don’t understand me lately. I feel like my emotions and thoughts are out of my control or something. I don’t feel like they are bad, just that they move forward without me. Like my brain won’t shut off.

I’ve been writing, passionately. I have all of these post sitting in my queue, just waiting to be posted.

But I am going to take a “quiet day.”

I think I need to start reviewing before I hit “publish.” I am letting myself get overwhelmed and too caught up in things.

If I keep “going going going” like this, I am going to end up crashing and getting sick again.